Subalternly

On celebrity cricket league

2012-01-22T15:31:00.001+05:30

Celebrity Cricket League is on full swing at the Jawahar Lal Nehru stadium in Kaloor. Fat cats in the Malayalam film industry is playing cricket against their peers in other south Indian film industries and Bollywood. The little known fact of the Celebrity Cricket League is that they used their influence and rescheduled the I-league football match that was supposed to happen in the stadium.

This got me seething and i wasted no time to write down a few words about this fiasco on Sportskeeda.com. You can read the same here.

Waiting for Africa Cup of Nations

2012-01-15T16:50:00.000+05:30

I am eagerly waiting for the Africa Cup of Nations. Once again its a chance to feast upon some superb football journalism from Guardian.co.uk. In the past too, they have come up great articles from during ACN.

This article here is about Demba ba and the Senegal team. Senegal thronged in the international scene with a massive upset victory over France in the 2002 world cup. But that team went astray, they never could reach anywhere close to that level.

This time around Senegal seems to be a formidable contender for the African title and the charge is led by Demba Ba who is the second top scorer in the English Premier league with 15 goals. Demba Ba is not alone, there seems to be a host of Senegalese forwards who are doing really well across various leagues.

Hopefully Guardian continues their good from Gabon and Equitorial Guinea come this month end.

SAFF Championship 2011

2011-12-13T17:13:00.003+05:30

The SAFF cup 2011 concluded in New Delhi and India werecrowned champions for the nth time again. I think we have been winning thiscompetition for years now.

I could not watch all the group matches but did catch upwith some highlights on TV and from the internet. Speaking of the internet, I should mentionthat I was pleasantly surprised to see SAFF Championship 2011 channel onyoutube. Don’t know who was running it, but whoever it was, kudos to them.

On the whole it looked like a decently conductedtournament. Due credits to AIFF for arranging thetournament.

Now on to the final. India played a very decent Afghanistanteam. AFC had already goofed up by selecting an Indian origin referee for the final.They definitely had other options in front of them and why did they select theSikh ref from Singapore can only be explained by them.

During the first half, Afghanistan played really well. Theydid have some good chances which they failed to convert, partly due to theirmistake and as Indian goalkeeper karanjit was having a good day on the field.

Second half lumbered on and India was putting up a bettershow this time around. Then in the 63^rdminute Sayed Rahim Nabi played a ball in to the box and Jeje was tripped in thebox. In the ensuing melee, some Afghanistan players almost manhandled thereferee and the referee dished out a red card to the Afghani goal keeper.

There are also some sections who claim that Jeje was fouledoutside the penalty box. I have rerun the video so many times and I am convinced,if it is a foul it happened in the box.

Ifyou watch EPL on tv, you will be familiar with this saying “we have seen thisgiven” and that is exactly what happened. A penalty was awarded and Afghanistanwas reduced to ten men. India took the numerical advantage and killed the game byslotting in another three more goals and lifted the cup.

I was not at allenthused at the way things turned out in the final. AFC could have selectedanother referee for the match and could have avoided all the allegations fromthe Afghani contingent.

Check out goal.com' review of Indian players who appeared in the championship here. I more or less agree with what they have written there.

I'm back.

2011-12-10T16:00:00.001+05:30

Wordpress.com took the gas for a while. I am planning to get back here. Probably with a new name and a new design.

Shunting Arena!!

2007-04-20T12:11:00.000+05:30

Let me make it official.. I am shifting out of blogspot. Moving on.. you can catch up my posts at http://tushizap.wordpress.com

A Great Slip!

2007-04-13T11:00:00.000+05:30

Kurt Vonnegut slipped away in to memory. He was 84 and one of the most intellectual writers i have ever came across! He was just too good with this prophetic views smeared with a heavy dose sarcasm which often made fun of our very existence in the most possible darkest ways. He was/is often misjudged as a comic writer who throws in a tinge of science fiction and quirky prose. But that doesn't really do a great justice to him as a writer. Be it Slaughterhouse-Five, Jail Bird or God Bless You, Mr. Rosewater, he is able to portray life and its futility, and its obsession with the trivial and dangerous things - money, war and all sorts of that stuff, which should actually shame the man kind.

America, its culture, the American dream and concepts of that sort takes center stage in his works and that is quite obvious being an American writer but he had a prophetic view, where he could draw a picture about people who inherited wealth and had nothing to do with it, Where some chased a dream and reached hell and so on.

I enjoyed reading him and i am going to collect some more of his books. He made an indelible mark on my psyche. Although most of the searches on net gave accounts about him as a plain humorist but this very piece gives an account of what he really was.

With kurt's death, the number of literary icons who saw the grim face of catastrophic wars and who constantly beleted out cathartic proses against wars are fast dwindling. We are being pushed in to an intellectual void; where we lack authentic voices of protest. It is indeed a scary thought.

It took him 25 years to pen down Slaughterhouse-Five. When asked about this he told :

"You can't remember pure nonsense," Vonnegut said. "It was pure nonsense, the pointless destruction of that city, and, well, I just couldn't get it right. ... I kept writing crap, as they say."

You can gather a bit more than what you need from here

Ethical business man : At any cost i will appease my customers!

2007-04-11T11:37:00.000+05:30

Boooha! I have been hearing a lot! He commenting on the need to revive Indian politics, ethos, sports and to overhaul all the "Processes" associated with Indian Cricket. Narayana Murthy - The ethical business man from India was given chance and was most often sought after to comment on anything and everything. The middle class balthered a lot about this so called "guru" being the best India as ever seen and now he is being projected to become the president of India.

But there is a problem, if he becomes the president - he mightrope in A.R. Rahman to remix our National Anthem so that it appeal the foreigners . He thinks :

“Indeed we had arranged for five people to sing the anthem. But then we cancelled it as we have foreigners on-board here. They should not be embarrassed while we sing the anthem.”

Now this asserts, he is a bloody business man, who will streamline all the processes involved to appease his customers! ( Probably sometime back, we called this a** licking) May be thats the order of the day!!

Voice - The Musical Rang De Basanti

2007-03-27T13:03:00.000+05:30

Pentagram the Indian - Electronic-Rock and now "punk" band is back with another album. I have listened to their earlier album - Up. Up had pretty well balanced songs with decent lyrics and music. As it was more of an electronic album than a rock album - it created more of squeaky, creaky and monotonous sounds. I used to listen to Up when i get back to bed, my thoughts and their creaky-squeaky sounds clash and i used to slip from thoughts to sound and sound to thoughts and finally in to slumber without much hassles. As usual, the tape was flicked by someone and then back to good old rock.

"Voice" the new single aired on VH1 caught my attention because there was a lot of hoopla behind it . VH1 and Nokia together wanted the audience to shoot a video for this single. It is nice way of cost reduction - wonder Vishal has done some 6 sigma course in streamlining processes involved in music to earn better profits out of it. The video which shows some incoherent clippings by some maniacs around the country and some quotes and captions floating across the screen. Quotes include - smoking kills, no reservation, my voice and so on. Now that very well squares up the much needed social commitment, earning musicians should show.

After Rang de Basanti, the Indian entertainment industry never really ventured in to this very new arena of social changes and the valiant struggles involved in it. Though RDB proved to be a success, bollywood never had the guts to go in that direction. It is because of the unpredictability involved with the movie going masses. The trend ended there, with RDB. But now Pentagram is back with "voice" in a much cheaper and affordable way to kindle the revolutionary mindsets of the x-box crowd (Check the Video).

Lyrics of this song is also baffling. Definitely you will find people who will identify with this song. Now that should be the reason why VH1 is promoting this song and why Vishal- the lead singer of this band and very successful bollywood music director took the risk of making this album.

are we gonna ask the questions that scare me

I suppose, we need to constantly ask disturbing questions, ain't it?

are we gonna break the bonds of silence -

Not really. if so, ain't there so much of silence?

will i find the truth in my reflection -

How will you and me answer this, for, this should be a self inquisitive question.

will i see the meaning of my defiant -

Most probably not because we are not endowed with such a longevity

cuz there are words that must be said -

Enough and more!!

and there are words that must be heard

Very true - But whose, mine? Yours? or from those crowd in the video? Oh... no!

and that they're not as really quite absurd

May be not, but the video doesn't suggest so!

and there's a footstep in the clouds

True, all i know is that, for sure, the crowd in the video doesn't have their legs planted on earth!

and there is warmth in drops of rain

Hmm.. May be up there in the clouds, yes it might be warm - but down here rains have moulded themselves in to these devilish macho creatures wrecking havoc! it is not any more the light romantic drizzle!!

and there's a meaning to the words i say

Are you talking about the gringopalagos caviar and cataviore salad??

i need a voice now

Oh... i am helpless

come be my voice now

Me?? No way!!

find me a voice now .... yeah

Helpless.. again...

come be my voice now

Me?? No way!!

give me that choice now

Hey what the heck? I thought choice is the buzzword of this century!

you be my voice now

Bhaaak Saale.. Voice..!!

I thought i will disect this song-Lyrics in black, Comments in red. I dont have any kind of business interest in flogging this venture. I dont beleive in this song, its motive - selling "voices" for better choices, against reservation, against smoking, against the so called system that tolerates and accomodates everyone. Yes it is repressive and chaotic but it moves on taking time to dole out justice and equality. There is another section of crowd who have been waiting for years and years - always scorened at, who beleives in myth and magic and reel out of poverty. Voice & Choice is not all "Voices" ,for, i beleive - it is not me who needs a voice but someone else . This is only the musical Rang De Basanti!! I am hoping to see some crowd back on streets and occasional mails thronging my inbox quoting Pentagram!

The malice channel : Reality TV

2007-02-20T15:00:00.000+05:30

About 400 years ago Shakespeare told, "All's well that ends well...Whate'er the course, the end is the renown." Yes, Shilpa had it all good, She is the Indian Darling, who made some brown-skinned girls in Southall fell off the sofa. She will visit some trippy parties arranged by the deranged London Page 3 Circuit, if she was in India, she would have been invited to inaugurate some jewellery shops and may be some fans from Bihar would have arranged a feast for this commendable achievement. I have not seen Channel 4 to asses what she was doing in Big Brother, but i have seen Clips posted by writer aunties and have read some comments by Indian expats; who echoed the sentiments of racial slurs against her ( Talking about racism is absolutley unwarranted in this context, as we ourselves are these pious creatures with a covert sense of racism. Accounts of Africans that come to India to sudy will reveal this. Rather i think, we as a community is happy being the next best skin to whites and enjoy that status!) .If she was being mentally tortured in the T.V- Guantanamo, she could have walked out of the show/Game. She chose to be a part of this sick burgeoning Reality TV culture. She was so artificial and mirthless .This reminds me of a great line from a Simpsons episode when Bart and the gang are stranded in Tokyo and are attempting to win tickets home by becoming participants on the Happy Smile Super Challenge Family Wish Show. "American game shows reward intelligence," they are told by show's host, Wink. "In Japan, we punish ignorance."

Reality TV is a new vicious spectacle in the offering. This is the part of a trend- an unending one, to transform and appropriate human senses to single quotient in life-competition. In realty TV we fight our daily life in the pretext of reality,as mimicking. we have started to mimic our life and cash in that. It reduces the mighty spectacle of life to a mere money minting one; live a life on TV and earn money. The most destructive element of reality TV is the exact duplication of daily life and appropriating it to a competition. As of now, there are lots who have lost in this competition and more in the offering. They are called the poor; they are ones who are supposedly entitled to watch this spectacle performed by the transgendered celebrities; the viewership of the poor push in the much needed money for the transgendered celebrity who wins this. Shilpa has been shrewd in accepting an offer like this; for she is the only successful actor from India, venturing in to a reality show.(Rakhi Sawant does not have much success; she has this small town brashness and silliness of a girl mired in the shite of glamour world – She is a/made a whore!). Capitalism and its inherent fallacies; needs this kind of degradation to push forward its ulterior motives. Then main implication- Competition which spewed by these reality shows; just make the ordinary person feel, that he can also earn money by winning a reality show. But it is ludicrous for 1 billion people to think so, but to get them thinking in this way is a commendable achievement. Aint it?

It is and that is the disaster in the offering. Like the human tendency of reducing a child to a mere miniature version of the adult, here we see a simplification of the spectacle called life, which essentially creates an illusion. Be it Big brother or Big boss, we have seen the putrefied section of the society - the famous and infamous celebrities, involving in ego centric fracas and supposedly falling in love over night ( Big boss - Aryan vaid and Anupama Verma). No one from the street of Bangalore will reach there, neither will they woo anyone over night. The possible seems to be the impossible. But this cliche involved with the disillusionment of the general crowd push these shows ahead.

Reality TV is of different kinds, if Big Boss and Big Brother had celebrities (??) for whom the miracle of success and fame has been zilch, there was super singer, Indian Idol, Mom swap (An American show), The Fair and Lovely Cricket reality show, I Want a Famous Face,The Swan ( These shows showcase various technics by which the face of a person can be modified to become more attractive. Sounds disastrous??) and Adventure reality shows. Abhijeet Sawant, who won the Indian Idol show in Sony television looked like a puny villager with camouflaged make up, while attending an award ceremony. He was made to say thanks to the minuscule celebrities who made him Abhijeet Sawant. Neither he nor the crowd realises, he is just the same old Abhijeet Sawant after a couple of flop albums. Abhijeet Sawant was the middle class hero for the crowd and a pawn for the celebrity crowd that adorned the award ceremony. His presence on the screen evoked a feeling that it was so obvious for him to thank all of them ,because he was at their mercy to be there. Yes, some will relish those moments, But no one with self respect will. I am not condemning Abhijeet, he hailed from a middle class family who was eager to see their son in the lime light. There are millions of families who share the same feeling and this is the very nerve that has been twisted to cash in.

What will be the effect of these shows? We dont have to ponder much, Saddam Hussein's hanging video - the official and the unofficial,prompted around 100 children around the world mimicking this barbaric act and forcing themselves to death by mistake. In an era where TV is the quintessential entertainer of a family, these shows are bound to make a wider impact on the society. Children mimicking the adventurous acrobatics and the adults drooling for some fame, that supposedly could garner from these shows. Be it the quizzing or home arrest.

Series of searches on Internet for worthy articles on Reality Tv only came up with accounts of distorted souls addicted to Reality TV. This forced me to refine my search a little more. Reality TV + Zizek in Google.. Slavo Sizek is such a wonderful Philosopher with novel Ideas and lucid language to comprehend him. This google search did offer some astonishing results. Enjoying Reality TV , a stunning piece which takes the usual perspectives to a twist and put in front of us a malicious spectacle in the name of reality TV. So it is our gaze, a dish to re-kindle our "thirst" for commodities- keeping it alive and kicking and a lot more of malice. Now,what comes without malice? Rarely anything! (Please let me pacify myself!!)

Is she the martyr for a cause - The American Dream??

2007-02-14T14:21:00.000+05:30

"She's been the underdog. She's been besieged ... and she's been trying her best and nobody should have to endure what she's endured." Yes ofcourse in a nation; where every attempt to be rich and famous is squared to a connotation - "the american dream", Anna Nicole Smith is no stranger. A small town belle disillusioned by the glitz and glamour, a stripper and one of those who were ready to sell out anything for being rich and known - She was Anna Nicole Smith. She is just another drug addicted whore, used and thrown by a ruthless world. She tried hanging on to the bandwagon by marrying a dying oil baron, for she hardly knew - money does not come easy. If she were to be in India, she would have been a queer neighbourhood promiscous aunty (Excuse me! This is not a wayward generalization!!) meddling in a court case for money with a serious drug addiction problem ( With a series of legal and illegal marriages!!), No one would have acknowleged any kind of realtionship with her . West in that matter is very nice and numerous friends and ex-husbands were availabale for whining and commenting.

I never understood the importance of such a lady. Larry King ( in CNN, seems like the old man had "some" real interest in her.) was interviewing a series of friends, relatives and husbands, who were to emphasize the fact, how naive she was. But i never could hear anything about the way she chose to lead her life, she was a celebrity, acted in reality TV, had innumerable husbands, two kids - one dead and the other which has a parental dispute.

Is she the martyr for a cause - The American Dream??

This article provides an insight :
What is Anna Nicole smith famous for?

An exciting view point; a must read.

Want some hope?

2007-01-08T13:48:00.000+05:30

Casino Royale with all its glitz and glamour dragged us in to 2007. Daniel Craig being christened as the best bond after so and so. Discussions about all the new gadgets,guns,gases,lasses and all those sun glasses. Bond is a fancy show piece; he has always struggled between his suaveness and his credulous amorousness. He made us (or at least me) think, that almost all girls are vulnerable. All you need is to dress up well and talk a bit squarish. I stopped watching movies for their action, style and its slickness. For all that matter James Bond doesn't bother me anymore. All he did in the late eighties were to run behind a Caucasian; who always wanted to torpedo some philanthropic activity By United States. I did gobble a lot of that shite but eventually i am out of it. I know that though he might run a long way more and might seduce a 100 more girls. He is not worth watching. For he is immoral or rather those stories don't hold any kind of scruples to relate to. Bond never saved us; neither will he do in the future.

When Bond hatched his plans to bust another bearded terrorist holding a glass of shaken Martini (In a Noida Multiplex) ; we had mothers of 40 children crying outside a paedophiles house. A gulp of martini and fell down a drop of tear. There is neither bond nor the local superman- The police, to address their problems. Well, in the same city with beefed up security and the compound walls reminding alcazars sat Naresh Gupta’s 3 year old son nibbling some pop-corn watching James Bond' swashbuckling stunts. The bitter truth to confront is that; he was also missing for some days but was back in a week or so, probably a lump-sum amount was paid. Media was there scouting for him; It turned out to be a bloody mark on the investment scenario in India. I don't remember though; the stock market would have plummeted some marks on that day for sure. For the mothers of 40 children who were brutally murdered did not have the nifty points to plummet and all their missing children was pushed in to a septic tank. The chief Minister did not visit the area because he believed in a superstition. These issues never bother the bulldozing stock market or the investment scenario. Amar singh the pumpkin headed realtor of Mulayam would have been busy attending a sassy party thrown by some obscure socialite and was probably having a stirred martini.

Rang De Basanti Thronged the Indian Silver screen with a thud. A masala cleverly weaved out of the historical struggles and the present scenario did some serious blood boiling for the multiplex going crowd. Then came the reservation ruckus; the Indian audience who were catered with the usual boy-girl love affair and the complexities involved in it; were easily gullible and RDB clearly exploited it. A RDB inspired crowd expecting to conjure a valid struggle against reservations thronged the streets of Delhi and other parts of the nation. Emails poured in; asking for help and support for this struggle for equality. Effigies of Arjun Singh was burned all around the nation; ludicrous comments like "making the boundary short for a reservation candidate" started spreading around. The up market, illusion-ed new rich in India rarely understood the nuances of this issue. Mere selfishness and inspiration gathered from a movie made them protesters.They claimed, no one in India is persecuted anymore in the name of caste, People who availed reservation in education stood galaxies away in their quality and what not. The ruckus was brought to an end with some stringent measures by the government.

Barely 6 months after this fiasco a Dalit family in khairlanji was butchered in the name of caste. Where were all the equality champions? Nobody protested nor talked about equality excepts Dalits who torched the Deccan queen Express. A drunken coot ran over some construction workers sleeping on the pavements of Mumbai; an old man who got injured was lying in front of a Govt hospital as it did not have enough space to accommodate him. He was shown on the T.V; don't know if anyone came to help him out. Champions of equality seemed to be uncannily busy. No effigies, no road blocks but just some visuals on T.V. Then came the battle in red bastion; the battle of singur. A struggle mired in mystery; A struggle by the peasants for their land in a state ruled by the communist party of India. People who believed in opportunistic politics did not wait long; they joined the bandwagon. For sure anything detrimental for agriculture will effect the nation , According to Boucher, 22 percent of India's gross domestic product comes from agriculture, but two-thirds of the population work in agriculture . Fast developing nations are always strangled with these kind of problems; after a decade or more of land grabbing the Chinese government has brought out policies to refurbish their agriculture sector. Mass discontent over the land grabbing and increased number of protests against these policies forced them to reverse the tide. We tend to realise bitter facts in a slower pace than rest of the world. Considerable increase in the contributions by Service sector and Manufacturing sector is not forgotten. Mass migration from the hinterlands towards burgeoning cities is not a new trend but this has happened on a large scale in the last decade due to our sloppy concern for this sector.

India; essentially a conglomerate of states, rolls over because of a constitution and a democracy which most of us decry about. But this electoral system has been the thin line that has moved this country ahead; if it was not in place, a country like India which incorporates so many languages ands cultures could not have succeeded. Progress and growth has been slow but a decently transparent system which ineffectively/effectively works helped this country to stay together than disintegrating. But regional jingoism has never been on the low in this nation. Increasing disparities and living conditions has forced many of this issues a bloody ending. Professionals migrating to different parts of the country in search of jobs has been a trend for long; Many a places have choked out of this influx and many despise this incoming crowd. The irony involved in this issue is; we only restrict our views to the migration of the middle class; to square it up - The migration of a doctor or an engineer or may be in lesser terms; a Professional . What goes unnoticed is a barrage of crowd that crosses their village boundaries in not so plush state transport buses and on their foot to the nearest burgeoning metro. Bangalore; a city rife with discontent about this influx has so many construction workers from all over India and i suspect their numbers to be more than that of any professionals and dogs that loiter in this city. Travelling to the outskirts of Bangalore in State run buses will reveal this fact. The decline in the rewards offered by agriculture has pushed many a lives to toil in the construction sites under rugged conditions.

Came 2007 and came articles on glossy pages about the lingering hope. Hope about a booming market, justice to everyone, no discrimination or torturing in the name of caste and creed, about a million healthy babies being born, more and more cell phones and what not. We had 2 bombings, some communal rives; an ayodhya shoot out, An-Afsal to be hanged and very few number of farmers around the country suiciding (Lets not forget, in Maharastra the government has prescribed "art of living" courses for these "suiciding farmers"). For sure there has been growth in some sectors and this has been beneficial for some who are not exactly the part of majority- Including me. Hope is quintessential for life, for, without it, life will be seemingly abrupt but glorifying the glimmer of hope and extrapolating it in a unreal way is not the answer . Nor is articulating about it in a way that it does not touch any issues on the periphery. I went through so many magazines that came out with their year ending issues and none of them differed in the contents they carried; It was all about hope and the hopeless confined to small columns as snippets. Are we evading the truth?

Read the magazines.

Kozhikkode.. not much.. but..

2006-12-13T16:29:00.000+05:30

Etched are reminiscences of a rich tradition and history in the lanes of this city. I have always walked in S.M. street and adjoining places, noticing the 1st storey of the old buildings that are dotted in these narrow lanes. I have always noticed: there are glitzy shops in the ground floors of these old structures; (one among them is the Standard Watch Co; in SM street; a glitzy salwar shop occupies the ground floor and on the dilapidated 1st floor, this watch repairing shop) Everything new occupy the ground floor as if it shows a reluctance to encroach the past. It is a place where some dilapidation stands as direction sign to the glorious past, resting on top of this peripheral glitz; they are the structures that lived centuries; many were libraries; some coffee shops and the walls of some of these places would have witnessed the Ghazal nights and gatherings of that sort in these places. Have always wondered about these places and have looked upon them with great curiosity; but due to my inability, never could gather more info about this unearthly abodes! I am not being a retrograde by wanting those dilapidated structures there anymore; but they push me in to sudden reality; it just makes me remember the evolution of city. It makes me realize and draw a picture of my life; where I lived.

This sleepy town was the fulcrum of trade that happened between kerala and middle east, how can miss china? Because all i am going to tell is about China. Beypore port which makes Uru's (Huge sea vessels) still sell some of them to customers on the other-side of Arabian Sea. Zengh-He, a Chinese ( Eunuch-Muslim, Truth thy information ) admiral, who belonged to Ming dynasty, who now is being considered as one of the pioneer sea man, visited the shores of calicut many a times. Though not much of what Zeng-He did and created is not any more; but nuances is what make history gripping, thus calicut also doesn't seem to be out of this. In this; article, it says the spice bazaar in calicut operates its costing not on computers but with hands with a kerchief covering this process. Security?? Unix?? This queer way of costing was devised by the Chinese and locals to over come the barrier of language! Necessity is the mother of invention; any arguments? courtesy: praveen. Western travellers; Ibn Batuta and Marco Polo also did land in Kozhikkode and the scriptures left over by them explain it better than anyone .All these very well make a brief about the history of kerala, which for sure is not recorded any school text book out there.

Music and Food is also a speciality of this sleepy coastal town; where Vasco De Gama descended and this incident which is supposedly an ungracious day in the history of this nation. Ghazal masters and the great Baburaj, Kozhikkode Abdul Khader and many of them, who made mark in the film industry and literature hail from Kozhikkode. The kozhikkodan biryani is a delicacy which can explain a lot about the varied cultural influences and evolution that happened in the city. It has always helped and promoted its distinguished sons and daughters. On the intellectual map of kerala Kozhikkode holds a place which is undeniably great. Attempts to sabotage this- known-truths about the cultural tolerance and acceptance that people in kozhikkode hold is well ,an ongoing practice and it has culminated bloody sectarian violence in places like Marad; which in fact was a bloody stamp and drub on this city's secular face. Music, food and sports have always stood across these differences and has been enjoyed by everyone discerning caste and creed.

Intellectuals are an important part of kerala society. There is a chunk of them in calicut too; who argues and theorizes from Shakespeare to Karl Marx. I have been lucky enough to know an awful lot of them. In Alakapuri bar, former Meriya Bar ; Nalanda Hotel (Not that i was binging around in all these bar's, consider that i was or is a conscience keeper of this lot) and these kind of places witness these kind of argu-theorizing sessions. All well and good; it all ends in Marx and if someone is "out of that marxist box" might even suffer an "intellectual besieging" - That person is not any,more sought after in these sessions. Differences are many and rivalries are too much. All of these might get a saucy turn; when the "spirits" are on. Some of them; theorize sitting right in the middle of the city; SI apartments (Near fathima hospital!). I wont call them; being in an ivory tower because they are not entitled to be addressed so. Topics range from Pasolini to the importance/impulse of diving states in India Linguistically. These questions are not asked on their own; everything is explained and argued and deconstructed in the shadow of politics and in the end inevitably Marx. So Khasakinte Ithisaam became a Bourgeoisie novel; Pinarayi vijayan is a social democrat; dividing states linguistically affected revolutionary movements that were present at that time, Europe is disillusioned that; they can compliment Human-work force by technology as there is a shortfall in birthrates and so on.

Football is quintessential for any one in kozhikkode; Worldcup 2006 did witness a glitzy display of support for different nations; that are dotted on different continents. I have always noticed a particular affinity for Argentina in kozhikkode. Maradona did the trick, for sure. Brazil too have many supporters and EPL did help England garnering some support base too. I remember some matches i watched in the corporation stadium; the gala atmosphere with packed stands witness; timely betting for the first goal scorer;first corner and what not. People in kozhikkode for sure immerse themselves in Football. Calicut has produced greats like Olympian Abdurahiman and so on. Bureaucratic hurdles have always mulled this game to develop over the years. When sevens (A game of football, where there will be 7 members in a team) seasons starts off in Kozhikkode and the adjacent district Malappuram, Players from various African Nation's descend in Kozhikkode and they will timely picked up by club officials and sign them on for a season. I have watched this affair with utmost curiosity, as they come down knowing the season, but not invited by the clubs. They are picked from the Railway Station as they get down!

My life and my knowledge about Kozhikkode is limited; These days it has almost shrunk to home-Kidson Corner-home-Relatives home-home. I might have missed out on lot; there will be more to add; issues to forget and learn from, but it is a facscinating sea-town with Kalanthans for sharja Shake, mananchira square for a mild nap for hundreds; Cee pee cool bar for Faluda; and for all those fried an broasted chickens- a Chick King too. (Not much, but nice!!)

alarming....

2006-12-11T10:44:00.000+05:30

Today morning, i had a realization, i am loosing it.. not much of attention or observation is asked, i realised it soon; I am in the process of balding! realization!!

Where are they?

2006-11-21T11:54:00.000+05:30

The gung-ho crowd, inspired by a movie called RDB thronged the streets of Delhi in the name of Anti-reservation protests. Pictures and videos of those struggling people gleamed many times in the media, occasional e-mails that thronged the official inbox. Stories of that valiant struggle were made to consciously gobble the upcoming middle class in India. Certainly it was an extrapolated success for Amir Khan and RDB. The former being very shrewd to pop-in and out of the news. “Opportunist” can be a mean word to describe him.

2 weeks back 6 people sleeping on the pavements of Mumbai were over run by a car and crushed the life out of them. Our media did do some work; who protested and who made voice for them? Why did the media have so much of contempt towards the dalits who came out and protested against the killing of a family? Where is that old man; whose life was shattered and was lying down outside the hospital? I did see a glimpse of him in the T.V, but unfortunately for the past week or so; the media was in Noida. There was Adobe and a kid. The old man whose life was shattered will be in right on the pavement near the Government hospital. Rediff did carry a news bit, the very next day. Bland news with pictures of the pavements of Mumbai. A portal which carried valiant pictures and news bits about the progress of anti-reservation protests was barely or not interested in this story of the poor or the wretched. They hardly conjure a space in the mainstream media.

Journalists and their perspective do make a big impact on the coverage of news they do. CNN-IBN, for sure, not out of their naivety or may be to conjure a public admiration carried a self-realization blog written by one Divisha Gupta . Sadly, Divisha Gupta; who claims to be a journalist; dint have these realizations earlier. I appreciate her capability of capturing that conversation she had with some one over a bus in good style. Style; Hmmm... May be that’s all what we are yearning for. People do appreciate it! The comment says it all.

I still dont know, where the oldman who got hurt in that tragedy. Neither do the media. I can vouch for it. Do the poor in India have an address?

Facets of Life

2006-11-16T14:00:00.000+05:30

Do people evolve?
Yeah, if that is an answer, I would like to contradict it, relating a whole of that question and the opposite, what is happening in me. Change is the unchangeable; ofcourse it is. Evolving or evolution as a question; is difficult to address. Man did evolve; but he did not evolve from his killer instincts. If "evolving" in its present and serene meaning, means for the "dear and the dependable", then it was not meant for human beings.

If the dog evolves to a loyal animal, Man seldom do that. In our crude ages and forms, we killed each other and we still do!

Feminism and Chavez

2006-11-09T18:31:00.000+05:30

I am not going to discuss what Chavez has done to the down-trodden of Venezuela, Is he spending all the oil revenues sagely? But he did make Noam Chomsky's book the No: 1 best seller in Amazon lists. (Did all the voters in America read this? The outcome of the poll perplex me!). He received thunderous applause for his speech in U.N. May be all a propaganda show-off to pull of the forthcoming election in December. It doesn’t matter much to me. But when I was surfing this illusionary cyber world I came across a blog written by an Iranian expat in England, who is a feminist and more over a vociferous activist-
Maryam Namazie.
I don’t support or vouch all those atrocities unleashed against women in a theocratic and retrograde regime like the one in Iran. Neither can I forget that Iran is in next-in-line to be bombed by the war Mongering machine- U.S. I have always found many a stance taken by feminists so queer. Women are oppressed in Iran, does this mean, Hugo Chavez should not make a political alliance with Iran to oppose a bigger threat- U.S? When I saw her blog, I had an irresistible urge to comment there, like many of their (women) actions, this piece written by Maryam Namazie did provoke a disgusted feeling. Why do they constrict their opinions? I hope in Israel women are treated with all the dignity available, does that mean any man with scruples will have a political alliance with them? I wonder.

Here goes my comment for Maryam Namazie.

Chavez wanted to garner support for his UNSC membership. He criss-crossed the globe in his private jet and met so many leaders and visited some countries again and again. The regime in Iran is one of them, he had a special interest there because, it was supposedly the next target of the war mongering- machine U.S.

Equality of gender, is a big question. But let us put it this way, when America carpet bombed iraq, they dint specifically select women and bombed them, did they?

Now in front of a war, the question of gender never comes;so it is foremost to make a decision to stop such a war. Then comes the question of gender.

Of making choices to partner with whom and not, is a very tight question in this world now. We live in a situation where every speech of Chavez is greeted with a thunderous applause, but there is no one else who make a speech like that.

The question of war/imperialism should be dealt with utmost urgency. Chavez was trying to do that. An allaince with the theocratic regime of Iran dint mean that he wanted all the women in Iran to be doomed.

Feminist rather try to constrict their ideas in a very narrow sense, the cause can be dealt with, if they have a wider perspective about issues.

Is this the answer for all the wars waged?

2006-10-13T17:43:00.000+05:30

I have seen innumerable pictures which belt out a message. Anti-war, anti- , anti- what not. This picture was revelation. I was struck and withered by its crude sarcasam and an abject message that it conveys. A picture says it all. Some of them answer the questions and unsolved riddles in you and that is what exactly this master-piece from Banksy did to me. IIt was an answer for all the wars waged and it conveyed a message that could have only conveyed by a 100,000 street protesters against the war.

They Carpet-Bombed, sprayed Napalm and Agent Orange. My family is gone, homeless; I am naked on the road. Oh... so what, I am guided by Mickey and Mac. I know my brothers-to-be-born, will have contortions which are unscalable, but what I am running naked on the road and is guided by Mickey and Mac. I will have amusement parks and burgers, what if my Mother and Father is gone?

In this Age of terror as Robert Fisk calls it, this picture with its sublime colours reveals the real flesh of the war. It is not Hamas, It is not Hezbollah, It is not Taliban, It is not the puny North Korean WMD, It is not Communists. It is Mickey and Mac which is making me run.

What if my brothers-to-be-born have contortions?
So what, if I have lost my family and home?
So what??

I have Mickey and Mac.

Kudos to Banksy that he kindled my senses and re-affirmed the answers to my questions. Lets watch more of him before he gets illusioned by the lucrative packages that has been offered to him to sketch the bill-boards of Nike and so on.

Lets us praise this Anonymous Graffiti maker from Bristol.

Catch More of Banksy Here

Some stratling facts and figures!!

2006-10-10T15:27:00.000+05:30

For all you lurking gansta's, This is a humble effort by me to extract some main points from an article which came in Guardian

Symbols of the new prosperity are everywhere. The relentless expansion of gleaming shopping malls reflects a surge in the prosperity of India's middle class - some 250 million people. Mobile phone connections are growing by 5m every month. Stock markets are booming, and foreign investors are lining up for a slice of the action. Happy?

I was just kidding.....

This is the country in which 2.8 million children die annually as a result of poor nutrition and easily preventable illness - almost one quarter of the global total. Almost half of all Indian children are underweight for their age - a larger proportion than in Ethiopia. Meanwhile, some 300 million Indians survive on less than 50p a day.

Bangladesh is poorer than India and its economy is growing far more slowly. But over the past decade, child deaths have been falling at an annual rate 50% faster than in India, and Bangladesh now has a better child survival record.

The IT sector employs about 1 million people in a country where 8 million join the labour force each year.

Uttar Pradesh, with a population bigger than Germany and Britain combined, has immunisation rates that compare unfavourably with those in Mali, and child death rates to match Sudan's.

Girls are 50% more likely than their brothers to die before the age of five - a death differential that translates into 130,000 missing female children each year.

If you want to read the full version of this article and check the credibilty of this rhetoric
Click Here

Of a day being "a day"

2006-09-19T13:03:00.000+05:30

Re: [NIT Trichy_Malayali] Engineer's Day. SO WHAT THE HELL????.

Of a "day" being a particular day is the biggest farce of our times!! Now nobody has been lured in to orkut, it was a concerted effort from some of our friends to get connected. People might waste time on it, but it is better than sitting in a college "net lab" and watching half baked porn and scratching the balls and deriving an illusionary pleasure.( This is not in reference to any members in this group, as i never seen any of us doing that, i mean scratching the balls!! But watching porn, of course! And the pleasure being delusional or illusionary, as everyone knows; the limitations of a crowded place in accomplishing an orgasmic feat!!). May be people; lets come in to terms that Bush farts around; and is possibly suffering from a mild dementia. And Phillip Morris (The tobacco giants; With due regards!!) and Exxon mobill payed some loony organizations, those which almost resemble the one Sunita Narain in India heads; to cloud the effects of passive smoking and Climate changes respectively.

Lets move on to another battle ground; The English Premier League. Seems like it is a battle field for the Russian Oligarchs. Chelsea owned by Abramovich, and his former mentor Berzovsky ( He is just left with last 890 billion pounds; it seems) is trying to buy West Ham United; It is turning out to be a Oligarchic battle field. There is an Iranian and an Israeli helping to secure this deal. Business in fact is trying to mend all the international strifes. Good that it can at least do that. He he.

Every day is your day; please don't allow unwanted and unwarranted elements to munch a pie of it and destroy it. Address it with something that matters to you. There are millions dying all around; for them it is a day to escape the harsh reality; but not a day to give a frigging un-smelling red rose or a loony card to some one you drool upon. For heaven sake lets think of all those and stop addressing days with some loony “prefixes”

Everyday is the same day; Except the independence day! Not the day; we gonna sing vandemataram!

Now if you people dint understand, why i talked about Chelsea,West ham and all sorts; taking in to consideration; all of those happened on a day. If they all start addressing the day as theirs, I fill petrol, so i need to celebrate "Exxon mobill" day, as i smoke, i need to celebrate "Phillip morris" day; as i am a fan of Chelsea; i will be forced to celebrate a "Chelsea day" . I like West Ham coz they signed Carlos Tevez and Mascherano from Corinthians. Hey am almost dead "observing and celebrating" days, but i am forced to "observe and celebrate" a West Ham day! Gosh.. i sigh, if all these fell on a single day, how many shots would have i drank, how many hugs would have i made, which essentially would have put my deodorant to shame and my bathing soap fading as a small piece! "days" seems to be a pain in the wrong place! people. Lets stop observing "days" Except the earth day ( No need of AIDS day; right?. Please be careful of that vulnerable moment, I mean "be careful", It can be Fatal"!!)

Cheers!

Resistance to Tyranny is obedience to god! I am saying that! :D

Enter the world of stagnancy

2006-08-31T12:51:00.000+05:30

On a huffy- puffy Saturday afternoon I landed near D.J. Halli, the fag end of tannery road, a narrow road which leads to somewhere; which exactly is not under my comprehension. From the suaveness of Koramangala, I was invited to a very strange world; a world of disparities; which was very profound. I was invited to a world where people were never ashamed of this disparity; seems like they had taken it for granted; that they always needed to bear the brunt of this disparity. “An auto drivers life starts in an auto and ends in an auto”, I remember these strange words of a bearded Muslim brother’s auto which I boarded from there. It is not the disparity; but it is the stagnancy that over ruled; it is a monotonous life; either you become something or the other which will never significantly make a difference or which will not make you remembered in the pages of history. It is stagnant. “Mera bapu auto chalaya: abhi uska thabiyath kharab hein; to mein chala raha hoon”. Stink which almost all the new bred; sandwich bred journo’s will feel nauseated at was omnipresent, a theatre which played a Salman Khan Movie. If you don’t have, you pray for your hero to have it; may be that is the ideology of a normal Indian. He cries and whimpers for very single blow falling on him. A very precarious situation of alienating yourself from the self and having an illusionary pleasure at the cost of a ticket. Dingy houses and confusing narrow alleys and over dosed souls littered the place. As I strolled; I met an old man sitting right in front of his house. Life didnt have anything more to give him; a repugnant feeling made his face more visible. He blankly starred in to the sky and stinking dirty sewer with flies just flowed under his leg. Neither did the flies nor stink bothered him. May be an hour at that place will take us in to a hospital for sure. But he grew there; he lived there; Colors of the walls around changed and may be the “hero” started wearing new dress and shades; but all those barely made any change in his life; rather his face did'nt show that. I entered a world of perennial stagnancy!

A death note.

2006-07-31T17:26:00.000+05:30

Four weeks of treatment and a surgery took the toll on him. He died; innocuously early today morning. He sufficed all the needs for he was reared. Cold and motionless; a valiant fight against the hunger he had and the inability of chewing and all those pains of food being stuffed in to his mouth had gone in vain. He looked famished and drowsy for what he was earlier. Let me hope; that whatever could be done to help you was done. I dont want to remember those shaven stomach of yours;I dont want to remember those time when you struggled to breath, I dont want to remember all those times you fell down due to those tired legs. The cat is dead and no more!

Though times are skewed in such a way that,people might take me for granted; as we always do. But it was not an illusion or a piece of surrealistic writing; or may be a looney reasoning for all those crap i churned out; It aint. It was related to a Cat; which infact held a share of that space in my heart; as they call it. An invisible thread of sentiments always attached me with him; for what and why is not of any importance. Beings and things which needs to be acknowledged and accoladed should not be spared aint it?

An appendage:

When we talk about acknowledgement and the accolades, I was constantly ignoring a fact; I had to offer all those posthumously for him. I always wondered, we in kerala never bothered about animals and their health. Space is a constraint; animals are also vanishing from our lives. 20 years ago; in my house we accommodated 7 cows and 2 dogs and now the number of animals in my house has merely reduced to a half pet/ half not pet Cat. Our life has become redundant and recursive where we have only time to take care of us. The middle class mediocrity works in a manner that; a veterinary Doctor is a "funny man". The dichotomy is that a veterinary doctor is not a man of interest, but he is merely a man of the situation. He writes Common Entrance Examination; with all hopes and aspirations to become a MBBS and ends up as a "dog Doctor"; which in fact will be a huge blow to his pride. Nobody in kerala becomes a veterinary doctor out of interest. This shows in their profession. Now, I had immense interest in that, but I was also a prey to "a" situation. Dilapidated hospitals, good "old" equipments and doctors with unwarranted interest in their profession, eventually make sure that the animals will die. This calls for a revision in moral and ethical sense. A sense in which we should be giving equal importance to the beings around us.

I .....

2006-07-14T14:24:00.000+05:30

• Hate them, who doesn’t know anything about sports, but play pool
• Hate them, who listen to devotional songs, for I believe it is an industry, which makes millions and I don’t like tripping on divinity.
• Hate them, if they don’t have tinge of politics in them
• Hate them, if they trip on trance and beats, for they miss the poetry in the songs.
• I hate people tripping on love songs for love is not quintessential.
• Hate people who admire Dileep- a Malayalam actor, for he is scum and he represents the awkward degradation kerala society ever seen. I think he is the flag bearer of half baked un-situational comedies with vulgar language and mimicry.
• Hate them, who still think Mohan lal is the romantic star.
• Hate them, if they don’t sympathize with Mr. Zidane, for I believe his act was not cabal, but an act of valor, for anyone with self respect would have done that.
• Hate them, if they tell Nehru is a womanizer, for they don’t have the sense to perceive that India stands so ahead in the world because of a visionary like Nehru
• Hate them, who ask “who among listens to rock music these days? Nope... No one, so let’s talk about Dido” and then squares their lips to crack joke with a precarious way of placing the letters and compare Dido, with Dodo. Not that I Love Dido, all these efforts cause a lot of ruckus in the public and it did irritate some flying souls.

For that matter I can only get along with very few people, that includes some i like and some, i have taken a decision to get along with.

Terrorist ???

2006-07-10T18:16:00.000+05:30

Guardian.co.uk claims that "zizou was addressed a terrorist". Independent carried a painfully long article which didactically stated, what, such a head butt from zidane caused to the moral aspect of the game, that fifa is trying to mould as a fair one.

When Paintsil waved an Israeli flag, the Ghana Football association came out and apologized that “He is naive; he doesn’t know anything about the current political situations". Now that seems to be as outright lie, considering that fact that the Israeli spokesperson lauded Painstil's effort. It was a cheap effort by the Israeli govt by making the meek Ghanaian indoctrinated by their fancies. An effort to stage themselves in the arena, where they never could reach and they obviously know that, these kind of senseless acts wont be done by any other player or one from a respectable footballing nation.

Sports should be devoid of politics that is what all of us envy it to be. But it is not. Rather, it is not at all. Where is the liberal Europe, which has the capacity to tolerate all this discriminations? If Materrazzi called Zidane as terrorist, it in itself is a terrorist act. Any person of high moral respect would have lost his wits. Zidane lost it, and now he is the villain. Where is Matterazi, who addressed him as a terrorist? France lost, it may be because of zidane’s cabal act but when you take a decision, you should fair enough to judge the provocation too. It calls for an urgent measure to bring these kinds of situations under control. We witnessed 3 of them in these 6 months, Eto being greeted by the Spanish fans with Monkey chant, The Spanish coach referring to Henry as “black shit” and escaping with a paltry fine of 2000 Euros. Racism in Football is like an invisible clout. It is everywhere, but it is not anywhere.

In these troubled times, we will see serious repercussions from self made, self respectable individuals, when we make acerbic comments. If zidane was called a terrorist, it is an insult which can go deep down to your roots. Even if, it was a provoking act, the political implication of such a provocation needs to be clearly studied. It proves, the world has lost it tolerance, that an indecent word can fuel a row. If matterazi has made some offence like that, the new Italian govt should make all the needs to have a platform for apology. Cheekiness is the nature of football and that is why Christiano Ronaldo poked himself in to the brawl and as they claim, got Rooney out. What wrong did he do? There was no politics involved, he just measured a situation correctly and reaped the benefits out of it. There is no History, Lineage or self hurt.

A million times I thought of scribbling something about World Cup 2006, nothing materialized. I started watching the World Cup 2006 Final match as a supporter of Italy, though later on started sympathizing with France. A very rare situation, as I never liked Italy, All because of Berlusconi and then because of their Style of game. A hundred passes and then a Long ball to the other half and a stunning goal by all those mercurial strikers they come with. It was never football. But under Marcelo Lippi, they gathered momentum in the semi final’s against Germany, Not say the least, it was stunning display by the Italians and it was obvious for me to support them, a very situation I decided to forgo my political inclinations and support Italy. May be, Romano Prodi eased things out for me.
When the game started, France had umpteen things to prove and they did so. Zidane had to be the savior, Henry had to be the best striker, Viera and Thuram had to prove their worth too for they wont be getting another chance to prove in world Cups. They all lived up to the expectations and Italy was humbled to the same old style of passing around and launching a high ball to the next half. Luca Toni Never sufficed their needs. An erratic goal keeper to rely on to, France would have never wanted to take it to penalties and just before that came the “Head Butt”. Why? I again sympathize with Zidane, He had to prove to Le-Pen, but the whole show was spoiled by some “Le-pennish” comments by Matterazzi.

Images: Captured with heart :)-

2006-05-29T15:59:00.000+05:30

Hugo Chavez- Man of the Moment!!

2006-05-22T16:41:00.000+05:30

A few years ago, few people dared to call themselves socialists, he says. Now it is different. "We have to marshal our ideas for a better world. We have to infect people. Let's have a badge, saying, 'I'm a socialist. I will infect you'." - Hugo Chavez-Camden Center London.

Good heavens! He got balls.... thanks not a Turban! (I mean a sardari Pagadi) Huh!

A comment about reservations!

2006-05-15T10:36:00.000+05:30

There are 2 reasons behind visiting a blog, The pleasure in reading it and enjoying it and then finding contentious issues or ways of expressing things and placing comments there, about that issue. Its not a practice of "simply being critical" about the issue. It is opposong the view point that the writer has put up and clearly placing your view points there. I stumbled upon this blog, when i was visiting my friends blog. The content of this particluar blog never pleased me. Here you go.

I agree reservation is a very complex issue and should not be leased out for the govenment at helm to decide the increase and decrease of it. There should be an independent body over looking this issue But can never write off reservations quoting that it creates a rift in the society based on castes. Here is a comment i posted in the Savekerala.Blogspot.com

Very Looney Post! The upper middle class mediocrity always spews incoherent words and that shows in almost all the comments here. Making reservations in the cricket field and things so forth. Those kind of mediocrity is indispensable in blog-dom because hardly any blogs or comments will be written by a dalit or he would have been tortured his whole existence on this planet, that it is the most disgusting thing ever to reveal- he is a Dalit.
Eons of terrible sufferings has almost waxed their mouth to shout out their needs. If they do we have our culture-vultures, who predominantly belong to this middle class and OBC's who have the right to chop of their arms and squeeze their eyes even stone them to death.
Claims will be; not all these occur in our "shining India". Its just coz, the so-called fourth estate or media comprehensively falters at capturing the essence of Indian life. They have the sensex sky rocketing and wardrobe malfunction!

Its has been only 50 years of "reservations". Does it count for 1000's of years oppression? If some one is loosing out his precious seat due to reservation, just keep in mind, he has not paid his due for all those oppression and repression, which is continuing.

I dint see all these Brouhaha when a dalit was stoned in haryana? I pity these eye-glistened neo-rich in India. Phew!!

Calculations Unlimited

2006-05-02T12:35:00.000+05:30

A relationship, which I never thought is worthy, fell apart, couple of days back. Understanding people and figuring out their priorities when staying together, is difficult. Sometimes situations force you to succumb to the pressure and we cannot be adamant on things, which you were before. When I stepped out of college after my graduates, I had an idea about, how many of my peers will I be meeting later and so on. Unfortunately, situations do not coin according to your whims and fancies and the same happened with me.
I never liked but I was forced, not by anyone but circumstances. Life is not all about calculations, if it were, and then there should not be anything-called Faith and Fate in which you try to foolishly believe. If you calculate and if that is correct, then there is no space for anyone else to calculate right? You turn out to be an Omnipotent… who can also calculate, how much two-carrier meals from Nandhini Costs if it was divided among four. Carry on… If you believe in yourself, but it is difficult for others to gobble all those calculations.

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal

Problemo!

2006-04-27T12:33:00.000+05:30

I am experiencing problems in Controlling Blogger. Seems like it has derived some of my intelligence and is working on upon. A very scary situation, Indeed.

A Stronger Statement

2006-04-17T12:33:00.000+05:30

The Manmohan & Montek way of doing things.This cartoon will most probably be used by the left front in Kerala to campaign in Wayanad which witnessed the highest number of farmer suicides after Andhra Pradesh.

Some Quick facts about the suicides.

(Its a rip from my old post:Suicides and a Fashion Week) Gobble it...!

"Life is short, Enjoy it" That’s the punch line for the hep dudes you come across nowadays. On the other hand, for some people life is not short at all. It is long and unending and there is no enjoyment too. It is full of miseries and traumas and these multiply day by day. For a well off person who might do a professional degree and then masters, the climb is so easy from strata to strata, may be even up to page3:)-. For people whose life is not short, sometimes they prefer to make it short because the unending miseries and traumas make their life seem to be so long contrary to the new age punch line. We will devour some facts n figures to understand the whole situation:

* In A.P from the regions fo telungana & rayalseema 20 lakh people migrated and hundreds ended their lives coz they felt their life was too long. This was due to drought, debts and misery.

* The no: of reporters who stayed in these villages and reported this unfortunate incident-6

* The very same year we had Lakme Indian fashion week - the no: of accredited reporters present were 412

* 4 lakh words were used by the press to cover this event.

* 1000 minutes of TV time consumed.

* 800 hours of TV footage produced

* 10000 film rolls were used

* 3, 60000 photographs were taken

wow!! Big industry fashion is, I swear... We have NDTV BUSINESS, CNBC AND lots of other blaah's to speak about this rocketing, booming industry. Sometimes they find it hard to conjure jargons to express, but the reality is nicely forgotten...

* In India 0.2% of the population wears any kind of designer wear
* Leave alone that, only 300 customers were present for this LAKME FASHION WEEK :)-
Booming or cheating?

I am happy, I am not Cyrus!!

2006-03-27T15:50:00.000+05:30

In this illustrious world of faking up, we all fall prey for all those techniques of masquerading the truth from us. I am happy that I am not Cyrus, for no one will ever aspire to be a Cyrus after watching “being Cyrus”. Parsi family, Saif Ali Khan- The reborn-National award winning (Phew!), Naseeruddin shah, Boman Irani, The sexy old hag- Dimple kapadia, all these were enough reasons to spend a 100 or more bucks to watch “Being Cyrus”.

Saif Ali khan – Was awful. He cannot be blamed; there was nothing much in the movie to act. He is a square-lipped Indian actor who was reborn after “Dil Chahata Hai”. He was horrible in his dialogue deliveries. Lucky him, all of his weird facial expressions were not so evident because of Homo… oh..no. Homi Adjania’s directorial capabilities. I think “dark humour” was too much to comprehend that I was almost glued to my seat and my jaws dint even open for a second, during the movie except for sipping some “kingfisher strong”. Homi Adjania represents the socialite turned “conscious family lover”. There is no passion in the work, there is no sentiments attached to the work. If something of that sort was expected to generate from the movie, all those where siphoned out with all those brisk camera movements and mercurial editing. For me, an editing style of the kind of “Pulp Fiction” or “Snatch” will never gather all those quotients that should have sufficed “being…”

Naseerudhin Shah as always was enigmatic in his ways, but he also dint have the scope to perform. He almost confined to the blurred vision of camera, in a vain and stupid attempt to glorify his Wife- Dimple kapadia. Her character over ruled his, when the reason behind her character being so is Naseerudin shah. That, seems like, was never a concern, of course, the overt expression of a slut gathers much attention than a reclusive husband. He just floated with his awesome mannerisms and did make an impact as an actor. The Indian way of appreciating an actor or an actress is to glorify them, when they are old. How precise it turns out to be in the case of Dimple Kapadia? For me, she was never awesome in Dil Chahata He, Except that she was toned up and was looking gorgeous. She is still, in “Being...” But was really horrible in her way of portraying the character. Boman Irani comes in to the picture and vanishes soon; it’s really difficult to make any kind of statements about his acting because of his lack of presence on the screen. I agree that he did the quarrel scene very well; even I would have done that with ease.
The police officer and Simone singh were there in the movie, where did I see them, what were they? Is Saif Ali khan being sentimental? Or has he gone “Mental”, After killing all those people? Is he happy about “being cyrus” All these should be answered by Homo... Oh... no... Homi. I think Homi, wishes to be the “quentin tarantino” of India, distorted camera angles and all those crisp editing, if he wishes so, his intuition is wrong.

“Being cyrus” turned out to be a pure gimmick played on the audience by Homi and Times Infotainment Media Limited, with all those Dark n crisp clips shown to us between all those news headlines.

A ruminative Quote

2006-03-27T13:50:00.000+05:30

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be. - Kurt vonnegut

The room that was….

2006-03-23T17:52:00.000+05:30

After a Stupid 4th Semester, I strolled back to college with all those repugnance towards that place shimmering in my head and all those last nerves I had in me. A day before the classes started I ended up in college. I was given the opportunity to select my room, alas! I was going to get a single room. I knew it was going to be a fight to gather all nerves to wake up in the morning and move my self to the classes, which already had turned out to be a big burden. A shared room had so many advantages, depending on the people whom you share it with. I really did not have a nice time, sharing rooms with others. The groaning and growling of a roommate early in the morning always perplexed me, later I came to find out that he is just unleashing his fury. A john Grisham fan who used to spend all his night reading those books and was very busy sleeping the whole day and a person who is indescribable in my words accompanied my stay in a room called D-36...I always had complaints about that room. The people were not up to the mark and light never came inside properly. The window of the room was blocked with a big wall that provided the support for staircase and that blocked the light that needed to be entered in to the room. If light does not come to the room, that in turn makes the room very dark and in turn makes it difficult to wake up in the morning because you never know is it dark outside or whether the day has broken ( It seemed to be a valid comment for missing all those 1st hours of class).

Even semesters (2, 4, 6, and 8) were always bad on the academic front for me. The joy and excitement provided by a measly successful odd semester used to over run till the end of the even semester and that always used to put me in bad shape. I used to think, “Fuck, the success of the last semester could not be savored to the fullest, exams are here” and used to end that thought with an extensive “fuck it”. I always had companions in shouting that “fuck it” aloud. To rephrase and rebuild these connotations, which continued for the first 4 semesters, I thought I need a single room. And there I was to select and single room and I did. Topaz 95, sounds like a razor blade name? No, Topaz was our hostel and I resided in 95. First few days were awesome, the bliss of sleeping alone and a strange neighborhood forced me to go to bead early and that in turn caused an early wake up. Days went by, Classes turned out to be the same. An old MIT pass out (sorry, it is not Massachusetts, its Madras) Bragging about all those nuts and screws, which I thought, will never suffice the world to run. Sleeping turned out to be cozier without all those groaning and growling and the steel furniture except the cot remained intact. All those insects, which were lucky enough to lose their lives, fell on my table and it provided the best death bed for them for they were never cleaned up or eaten by any other predators, which would have gobbled them, if it were not my room. It was 3rd year and every seemed to be very mellowed down from their earlier spirits.

I started visiting my next door hostel where so many of our comrades resided. There was music and masti there. The masti sometimes even pushed us to those limits where I and one of my comrades could not speak even after a compulsive attempt at doing so for around 10 mins. Trichy rocks! Whiskey in the jar- Metallica, Knock knocking on heavens door – guns n roses, comfortably numb- Pinkfloyd were the OST’s of those times. Day by day as the time went on, we found ourselves placed in awkward situations that we hardly spoke anything to each other. Advices and threats were often but we outlived all those with so much of oomph. Suddenly issues like “ruckus in the next room keeps me awake”, “I don’t know where they are heading “, “and those are bunch of freaks”cropped up. We decided to mellow down and there came a small pause. With the pause came the covert nature of life.

I started brooding over issues and contemplating over them in my room. The next-door neighborhood became friendly, though they complained that, am missing most of the time and they never got me for all those fun they had. (Sorry, watching kal ho na ho in a confined room and laughing aloud for all those sick jokes?). Complaints about me not visiting my comrades in the next hostel also cropped up. I scorned it off.

I had started developing paranoia; I always thought that my room is going to be busted by SWAT team. (Thanks for the movie SWAT and all those smokes).It gripped me badly that I started loosing sleep and I had some covert conversations with my comrades about this. They proposed an idea, which in turn backfired badly. It was to get a zero-watt bulb, place it in the room, and keep it switched on all the while. It was just an effort to scorn off the darkness that grips the room and to see clearly if any SWAT members infiltrated to my room. The idea rocked and the next consignment of achan’s money reached. As always, it had this small paper in which achan scribbled the ideas that I should be conforming, to push my life ahead in a successful way. The idea of buying the bulb overruled the “N: no: of ideas my achan proposed. A zero- watt bulb appeared in my room. The color of the light was Blood Red.

The light was on, my walls turned brownish and I started sleeping well. (To be Continued...)

Atrocious Thursday

2006-03-02T11:26:00.000+05:30

The biggest war criminal of our era hits our land. The gung-ho around is utterly despicable. In the morning hours of today, he placed some fresh flowers on the grandiosely polished marble on the tombstone of Gandhi. A moment that can be the worst our nation would have ever witnessed. The epitome of ahimsa-Gandhi, being honored by the head of a rogue nation responsible for invading more than 50 countries from its inception and which always reverberates contempt on other societies with his acerbic insults on them. A person responsible for the killing of innocent civilians- mothers, children, all around the world is right here for signing lucrative business deals and a nuclear deal. Whoever is well studied about the issues know that India is way ahead of US in nuclear technology as they stopped their research in the field of nuclear technology by late 70’s. The same country, which imposed stringent restrictions on us when we exploded the bomb, wants a nuclear deal. It is so fishy.

People who rule the roost here are so happy that Dubya is here. The media that always dilly-dally in their approaches are voraciously vouching for his presence and is portraying the whole scenario as if, it has been a god given gift that he is here. A few hundred people walked in the streets of Delhi in protest of his arrival and Indian left, as always is incapable of conjuring a massive protest. March 2nd is the saddest day in the history of this country. It is neither a black Thursday nor a thunderous Thursday. I will term it an “atrocious Thursday” where our rulers and the people in our country had a momentary lapse of reason and the past.

Dubya claims it is the clash of the civilizations. From the pagan lands, when on one fine morning someone discovers that dried wood floats in the water, they made a vessel out of it traveled around the world and captured places and butchered the indigenous tribes and started living there. You call it civilization? I don’t. But we have a 5000 years or more than that old civilization to bank upon. However, today we all have to cry aloud “civilization is a failure”.

Listening to System Of a Down- Soldier Side.

Fucking regards!!

2006-02-24T17:21:00.000+05:30

I am irritated because my mind has been itching for an aplomb regard, which I owe them right from my heart. May be for them, I aint nothing and probably do not need such grateful words from my side. It will be so ungrateful from my side if I just evade this act of offering my warm regards to them. So here, I go...

Black fucking whore looking mamba (this is one of those wonderful person I owe my regards. I have changed her name, that awful name of her’s sounds something like this): To be very frank, you look like a street whore (just lack those wonderfully colored attire) who has her nose poked... oh... sorry, I do not mean that. I mean nose pricked, again here I go... nose pierced. I am very grateful to you because you just easily gulped my valuable (I am not sure about it, but it would have been much better if I were not placed in front of you watching your slutty face and that Chinese chimp along with you) 45 minutes of my life. Unwanted and incomprehensible questions from you and your counterpart were flowing out like those disgusting farts. I could not help it; I had to be on the receiving side. I know I will have to write many of these letters, which oozes my warm regards until I get my life in a groove. I will not regret it. I will wind this off with a sleazy request. Bitch, I would like to rip those salwar and fuck you like an animal.

Some Radha bitch: I spent some three days reading all those dirt and dust which has been scripted about automobiles and downloaded “n” no: of files to read . I sit in front of you and you ask me some Looney questions and leave me in less than 10 minutes. If that is all took you to judge me, you are great! However,I should not refrain from giving you my warm regards. It is just an oomph that made me come and sit in front of you and watch you holy cow face. You just snubbed it comprehensively and made a mockery out of it, bitch. I think I should wait a little bit more to be so acerbic about you. I will get back!
Bittttch up yer arsehole!

The farce and facade of a day

2006-02-15T15:05:00.000+05:30

Feb 14th is one of those disgusting days you can push through in your life...It was disgusting this time also... as it is always. I never knew much about it until I reached my 10th.I moved myself in to a boy's college after that, I quenched all my valentine spirits in those sweaty, stinking theatres in calicut watching some soft porn movies. I never realized the importance imparted to this day by another section of crowd. I was never bothered about them neither am I now. And I never realized the huge facade that is associated with this day until I landed in Bangalore.

I pity those who flaunt their V-day gifts (u know... this is my girl's gift... oh... gosh! that bouquet is almost tall as you! yuck! yuck! and phew!) and those who ogle at them, with their stinking mouths open with saliva dripping....

Get those fuckin mouths shut... you sick......

The accidental death of a fanatic

2006-02-07T11:47:00.000+05:30

Rain poured down….. Bare legs drowned in the slush, the carpenter with his thumb drew a red line on the forehead of him and clad him with a saffron cloth piece. It was drenched in the rain and the color had faded. It eased out the cruelties that always hover in saffron... That was the birth of a fanatic.

One dull evening when dark clouds shrouded evil attire for earth, walked in a mother and kid to the concrete bus stop. The walls of the bus stop were not visible with paper posters stuck on them, calling for lots of revolutions and strikes. The mother tore some of those big posters stacked them down in the damp ground and seated herself in that. The kid gazed at the relentless downpour. It seemed like no buses or vehicles passed through that slush anymore. We always travel to void, a void where we loose the sense of reality when we gaze innocuously at the nature.

This part of earth seemed to be totally aloof from the ruckus that gripped everywhere else. Kid gazed and gazed in to the sky, the trees around, listened to the creaking and croaking of insects and those wonderful toads. He devoured all those natural music but never a smile popped on his face. May be the sadness that he withheld made him refrain from loosening up those facial muscles to pop a smile. It’s really difficult to smile at times. He stretched his hands on which the water dripped from the concrete terrace. Water drops landed on his and splattered making his filthy clothes drench. He turned back and gave a blank stare at his mother. She seemed to be asleep long back, pulling the end of her sari and covering her head. He stretched his hand out and counted the drops of water that fell on his hand. Time and thoughts in him flew by and with his drenched hands he crawled and placed himself under the cover of his mother. He despised himself for not being a girl at that point for he did not have a sari to cover himself up.

Sun popped in the east and its ray struck the dark famished face of the kid, he turned himself to the other side and tried sleeping, as the heat started pricking him, he opened his eyes and rubbed it. The uncertainty of where to and what to never bothered him or his mother ever. Uncertainty always loomed over them always. It has been a journey through all the scum of the earth and they were termed the “scum of the earth”. Surprisingly no one came to the bus stop to board a bus neither did a bus come in that way. Water logged in the pot holes of the road. Some bikes passed through and some jeeps that carried some stuff which he could never decipher.

A bony faced person with a stubble passed through the way on a bicycle. He planted a wicked gaze at them. The kid never could understand why people always looked at them. He always wondered, but never could he find an answer for those unscrupulous looks. He had some tools which had hooked on to the carry stand behind. Days passed by and the red line on the forehead of the bicycle person became so familiar to the kid. He wondered why he drew that with the color of blood. Like temples being built in places where some insane person once lighted a lamp, the kid took for granted that the bus-stop was his home.

The bony faced person was so not any more a stranger to him. He never could speak to him for the higher power had not granted him the capability to express himself through words. For him actions never spoke better than words. He missed his mother in those rainy days, he was sure that she was around some where but that little heat he derived from her to keep him warm was missing. He wanted to maul the one who grabbed that heat which was supposed to be his. The inability to speak made him restless and all that food that his mother begged and gathered coupled with his genetics had made him nothing short of giant.

It is always the wish of the down trodden to visualize him with the best. The nearest respite is god, as he always knows that it is difficult to match with the richest. An easy way out, with his tool he speaks a different language to the the god. An atrocious way of serving the higher power. It mostly sheds blood and the disillusionment makes him euphoric about it. The morality, indecency and the wayward life that he leads is never over looked by him. The carpenter epitomizes this and the wayward life of him grabbed the heat from him. He could never regain it through words for he took to actions.

It took some time in him to accustom to the new change, but his speechless senses were euphoric with the new changes. He was never looked up on as the “scum of the earth”. There was always a fear that loomed when everyone spoke of him. He regained the lost heat through this fear for him and the fake respect that was offered to him. He thanked the thin vicious red line on his forehead and that saffron cloth which he has kept as a treasure.

He despised that red line that was drawn on his forehead and the saffron cloth he was clad on that rainy day by the carpenter while standing in court corridor for a life time sentence trial. He longed for that heat, but it was only a chill that went down his spine.

Ditched:

2006-01-31T17:25:00.000+05:30

Iran has been ditched by their trading partners Russia and China. It can be misleading if I refer to it as ditching. A possible twist that happened with those who were discussing about this fiasco would have been that if Russia and China agree to refer Iran to the United Nations Security Council, it will lead to a peaceful consensus on this issue and Russia and China can continue with their business interests in Iran. Business is always the Cornerstone. For U.S.A, its all about capturing (oh... no it’s all about bringing “freedom”) Iran, a main source of Shia support that infiltrates in to Iraq which is potentially disrupting the status-quo there.

Where is Israel in the picture?? We saw them in the media a week ago, coming out and proposing a wonderful idea of bombing Iran’s nuclear installations. Did we ever realize that Israel has more nuclear war heads than U.K?? Surprising isn’t it?? (http://www.johnstonsarchive.net/nuclear/wrjp442.html) But it is a bare fact that we have to devour and a part of that malicious agenda of keeping away the truth from us. It’s all about the security of Israel. We have been bombed with movies that portray alleged “Moslem” terrorists trying to get hold of nuclear war heads and demolish us. Israel is never talked about when we talk about nuclear proliferation. They even kept Mordechai vanunu, (who exposed the unscrupulous Israeli plans of making nuclear weapons) in complete isolation for 11 years. Wikipedia says “Israel is not a member of the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty and refuses to officially confirm or deny having a nuclear arsenal, or to having developed nuclear weapons, or even to having a nuclear weapons program. Although Israel claims that Dimona is a "research reactor," no scientific reports based on work done there have ever been published. Extensive information about the program in Dimona was also disclosed by technician Mordechai Vanunu in 1986. Imagery analysts can identify weapon bunkers, mobile missile launchers, and launch sites in satellite photographs. It is believed to possess nuclear weapons by the International Atomic Energy Agency. Israel may have tested a nuclear weapon along with South Africa in 1979 (see Vela Incident). According to the Natural Resources Defense Council and the Federation of American Scientists, they may possess 300-400 weapons, a figure which would put them above the median in the declared list”. They are for sure the 2nd best rogue state after USA. We always see the other side of them, they getting attacked by suicide bombers from Palestine and so. Never are the hardships they inflict to Palestinians addressed.

Reports from various News agencies confirm that India will also be voting against Iran in the referendum. It is not a big surprise when stooges rule our country and when they take side with barbarians who cry out for bringing “freedom” to various parts of world. It’s high time we realize that every country moves in their own directions, maintains a status-quo that everyone in that country enjoys. Be it the poor or the rich.

2006-01-19T11:14:00.000+05:30

Your Birthdate: April 3

You are more than a big ball of energy - you are a big ball of hyper.
You are always on the go, but you don't have a type a personality.
Instead of channeling your energy into work, you instead go for fun and adventure.
Witty and verbal, you can have an interesting conversation with anyone.

Your strength: Your larger than life imagination

Your weakness: You tend to be pretty scattered

Your power color: Lime

Your power symbol: Lightening bolt

Your power month: March

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Will the drudging help??

2005-12-13T17:09:00.000+05:30

What the fuck man?
why do u frown?
wear a loose gown,
dance down the lawn,
move on.

They never understand or decipher,
There is no apogee or perigee,
Its a constant nihilism that they carry,
There are always answers for every mistake,
Or you can claim that you raked it in google.

Down there it is only darkness,
The understanding that they claim,
Is only the outcome of the constant nearness,
It is never the fullest,if it was,
why are everyone different?

Its just the same old dream,
which was never agleam.
Its just the same old scream,
which was supreme.
Its just the same old whisper,
which was never crisper.
its just the same old whimper,
which never dampened.

Incognito

2005-12-09T14:18:00.000+05:30

The condition of having a disguised or concealed identity,dictionary.com gives the meaning of my heading as this of us,including me restrain ourselves from accepting what we are.we slip from a fantasy world to another in a psychedelic trip.We wish to see our favourite colors in that trip.We hate and then crib covertly or overtly about the unfavourable.For most it has to be an unceasing trip and long to be in those chains for ever.Some add flavour to it by some substance abuse and some achieve the pinnacle,that is reaching the unreachable by those "substance" and achieves "nirvana" as they call it or "the death of a drug addict" as the common man puts it
"substance" prevails among very few,but the rest are high on themselves.An obvious ridiculous situation which all of our saints would have warned us about,but there is no stopping.Its is difficult to break free from this chain, i am a part of it,i think about it at times.I myself becomes unsatiable,sometimes of the praises or the material needs.I never realise when it happens with me, but these days living in a fast lane and seeing lot of extraordinary people or rather trying to understand them provoke this essential feeling of reverting back and asking "where are we heading??"

Is this crap?? i really dont bother.. i need not until i type a maudlin story of the depression and the mental "in" or "un" stability that cropped at times in life because of those surrealistic journeys my mind carried out in those stupid times.There are better things to talk about and better things to write about.like the one i have jotted above.

Call me a saddist, call me a narcist.I like to shout I am happy.

Theorizing what you call the garbage

2005-12-01T11:52:00.000+05:30

If no word which enters a literary work ever wholly frees itself from its meaning in ordinary speech, so no literary work, not even the traditional novel, leaves these meanings unaltered, as they were outside it. Even an ordinary 'was', in a report of something that was not, acquires a new formal quality from the fact that it was not so. The same process occurs in the higher levels of meaning of a work, all the way up to what once used to be called its 'Idea' - Theodor Adorno, 'Commitment'

May be its too much to ask or expect from someone who questions the quintessential presence of politics in my life.Neither can i propose a proper reason for the omnipresence of politics in my life.Its all about taking a stance, its all about thinking about the forgetful past and not trying to forget it.Its all about not being in the same clan of natural human beings who traversed their life without any kind of dissent in their life.

“anti-politics” is the new buzz word!! You should keep it from the market economy and sorts of it.The underlying fact is cleverly masked from us.Who drives the market and what drives the market is not a question, the protagonist is the market and love him/her and adrore him/her as a silver screen hero!

Ignorance that we never want to wade off has incessantly crept or rather fed to us in a malicious way which we never realised.Moreover we have this tendency to mock the one who realises it with bitter criticisms and easy go comments.Look what slavoj zizek has to tell about this ignorance

"I am still a naïve, enlightened person. One should challenge it, but without illusions. Here I'm in a very tragic predicament. I'm not saying that I have a blueprint for what to do today. My remaining hope is a very sad, pessimistic hope. The ruling system of ideology created such high democratic expectations that it cannot live up to them. Gradually, it will have to violate them. Once people are given certain rights, even if they are purely ideological, it's difficult to take these rights from them. It won't be easy to discipline people, to say, "No, we promised you too much." If you combine this with likely future economic upheavals.... My worry is not the worry of many of my leftist friends, like, "Why are you dreaming about revolutions? The system will just go on." No - I am almost tempted to say unfortunately, because unstable pre-revolutionary situations are not a holiday of history. They can be very unpleasant. But they will compel us to invent new political forms. In a couple of years, we will be literally forced to reinvent new ways.

If you still consider igonorance is still a bliss, then we will see a Bush alike being elected and we have the right organizations to push such a personality to us.The last was a wanton poet at helm, and now a neo liberal sardar may be the next is a dictator!

For sure "The civilization is a failure"

goo.. goo.. this one is for you

2005-11-30T12:59:00.000+05:30

In a looney world where people belt out stories that is almost incomprehensible and boringly reduntant;what i am speaking is all about a hand that caressed them and the long row of books he saw in her cupboard or she saw in his, and the lost feeling that they experience of the torture and the departure and the wholsome gulag!! phew!

you and your words are adorable for a person who wishes to view this world through a different kaleidoscope than the usual one!!

Paranoid android

2005-11-21T16:57:00.000+05:30

The ruckus was over.. only the smell hovered around;pretty much pure now.Creaking and croaking of insects filled the void.It seemed to be a long strecth.

Now,i could hear sounds nearing to my room,i sharpened my auditory skills, i found out it was sound of the boots battering the cold cement.The sound was increasing as were my heart beats.The red light seemed to be more vicious by every second and the sound was approaching my room in a fast pace! i took a deep breath and gathered my confidence by assuming that the sound and the boots are not in search of me.

It was coming closer and closer, adrenalin pumped and my puipls dialated for sure.At once it stopped. That calmness was not for long because it created a suspicion in me, where did all the boots go? what happened to all the ruckus?It all ended in front of my room? Then came the knock, i shivered, i had no energy in my body to get up and open the door! it was not because that i was too tired, but the creaking sound of those boots had siphoned my energy!

"Even cops dial 911".Its right that people tell wrong things happen at wrong times.All these ruckus made me think of this line.punch line of SWAT,then knock went on, now with a bigger intensity and i knew that this knock will end up in breaking my door.My name was being shouted, i could hear lot of noise from outside,i was sweating,may be thats an under estimation, i better put it, i was soaked.I remembered my mother, she used to tell me u need to sweat it out! it was just to reduce my flab but not hearing some boots battering the ground! I was sure some cops are standing outside.. the knock continued and now the door was violently jerking!

The looney lock broke,the door slammed open. samuel l jackson and collin farell aiming the gun at me! i was something like a guy who first sneaked cocaine to america or a drug lord! With my hands up with sweat dripping down, i was panting badly.The red light was more vicious now.

Fuck it man! im just paranoid! and top of that this red light! damn it i need to get another colour. Throat was dry, drank little water and i was off to bed!i cursed hollywood too!

mindscape

2005-10-07T23:18:00.000+05:30

Darling of an insipid introspection,she blossomed like a ravishing flower,nodded her head in all directions for the currents of wind that blew across, but was omnipotent and later omnipresent.she was called "silence", an effort of diligence,the outcome of a sacred surveillance."i am more sinned against than sinning"!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Bob, what are you rebelling against"? - against-> a placid and lucid status-quo that every normal bloke knows is disgustingly tough to disrupt!.All i need is a little time,besides time is all that a man needs, the rest is nothing but illusion.status-quo inevitably turns out to be an essantial illusion.

what?

yeah,"what" remains as a word coined for questioning,however better than "why"

trapped inside some clean ironed clothes,
i choked and suffocated,
the rebellion seems to bein vain,
there seems to be no get away -

It is like chasing a fortune that started running to the opposite direction long back.Fortune to the "right" and me to the "left"- the obvious choice,but here it happened that fortune long back started running to the "right". oh! someone like José Arcadio Buendía proved in vain that earth is a sphere. All i need is a little time and on the sphere i am expecting a bizzare clash with that "fortune" who turned his back to me and started running.It can be the apogee of the rebellion.There is no rebellion without a cause and for sure no rebel without a cause.Mesmerized one's fail to identify the cause, as jose saramago in his lovely tale "stone raft" tells :It is a common knowledge that every effect has its cause,and this is a universal truth,however,it is impossible to avoid certain errors of judgement,or of simple identification,for we might think that this effect comes from that cause,when afterall it was some other cause,beyond any understanding we posseses or knowledge we think we have!
For sure the cause and effect relationship still holds a point or more!
tuck! there is a blockade! a suicide bomber in the way! kudos to him!

bandh comment!

2005-09-30T13:20:00.000+05:30

Today was just another bandh day in kerala.Lots of people were geared with bottles of liquor to enjoy this day.... it has turned out to be another "happy day" for people.Opinions were galore, is it good? is it bad?? essentially all of them enjoys a good bandh! thats a fact for sure!

I was browsing through rediff,amazingly i found a blog written by some Ramanand.The whole point is that it was listed in the home page.My curiosity dint forbid me to skip it, so i opened it.. sadly it was just another rhetoric on bandh! poor dude..lost his dad coz of a bandh (it can be fictious twist he gave to boost his presence in the blogdom!looney n phoney.. people are!).I pity him, he is from bengal,like kerala there are lots of chances to loose your dad or mom for the spirit of "strict adherence to the bandh ideology".May be he is all up in arms against bandh coz he lost his dad , no doc's were present to treat him! Personally for me, that is not a very valid reason to dish out a rhetoric on bandh! So it prompted me to comment on the blog.100 words were not enough to tear his claustrophobic attidude.Fortunately or unfortunately rediff offers a service of commenting with the limit of words.With my dial up connection and the unpredictablity it offers, i always have the habit of copying and saving whatever i type down.. i tried posting it 3 or 4 times.. words exceeded the limits! its obvious... i cant mince my words for reasons like this!

The comment goes like this : Feels so sad to realize that you are just another mezmerized(the new "system of a down" album,an apt name for an apt time!) gung-ho professional...push yourself to a broader perspective,loosing one's dad for a bandh is an obvious catastrophe,may be that made you all up in arms against the bandh for all. But if thats not the reason, please note..its not one dad,one mother or one child that dies and suicides across india coz of distressing poverty and repression! yeah.. the same old rhetoric... but that still holds a point.. when glossy posters of "india shining" adorn the bill boards of metros and when the metrosexual munchs a "MAC burger" there on the other side in orissa some people live on mango kernels!

To bridge a gap between this what else do we have?? you want them to eat the mango kernels?? you want the honda workers to be marauded? you want the dalits to be supressed?you want me to calculate the nifty points when my dear sister is starving to death? who will answer all these questions, it is not all about the party that conducts
the strike but its the "strike" that matters!

people unite and strike ! open your goddam eyes!! open it!

You and me
We'll all go down in history
With a sad Statue of Liberty
And a generation that didn't agree -
System Of A Down (mezmerize)

Generation is a very realtive term!coz it includes ramanand also...

2005-09-14T04:16:00.000+05:30

doc tagged me.. so..here i go...

7 things I plan to do before I die!!

1. direct a movie with crisp editing and frames that will boggle the minds of a typical human
2. partcipate in a anti-globalisation rally (not in kerala..)
3. help out the needy but not the greedy (im not a gigolo)
4. a honey moon in some lush green forest in a forest house!!
5. a travel to latin america and cuba,if possible meet comrade fidel and hugo chavez(its a very ambigous situation, coz the looney CIA will murder them any time)
6. die in an instant, not undergoing a stint of constant pain, i should not be a pain in the wrong place for rest of the people around me.
7. marry my love!

7 things I can do !!

1. being so kiddish
2. eat like a pig and sleep like a dog
3. be very cheerful even though there is not much of reason for being so!
5. drink and smoke a lot,get zonked on one day,the next day and the other day!
6. read some good fiction and travel in a hyper reality for endless hours..
7. talk to me continously for hours.. i dont know when i started this habit,may be at a point when i plunged myself in to an irretrievable insanity of my own kind!

7 things I can’t do !!

1. being so blunt to anyone! (except to phoney-looney ones!, i cant stand them)
2. saying no has been a big problem, that has put me in troubles but i dont seem to be studying from it.
3. see the last ciggy in my room and not smoking it up!
4. wash my own clothes, i badly stink at times!
5. sit and slog for hours,when the exam is not near.
6. Be without a book to read.
7. watch a romantic hindi movie!

7 things that I find attractive in the opposite sex !!

1. guts n grit (i know it might back fire, but..)
2. a good voice
3. not bein phoney
4. humour
5. some physical attributes (i dont want to be so explicit)
6. eyes
7. not being dumb

everything wont come in the same package,so i think i will have to compromise..

7 things I say most !!

1. vokay..
2. shit!
3. hey madar...
4. u have lost it dude!
5. fuck maaaan!!
6. behencho..
7. no.. (only to someone..)

im stuck in the world of punjabi's.. they start their sentence with a "chod" and end it with another "chod"

7 celebrity crushes !! (i swear they are so phoney!!)

1. salma hayek (after frida)
2. scarlett jhoansson (whoa.. she was awesome in last in...)
3. arundhati roy (thats kinda weird.. but.. still.. )
4. lissy (i always used to tell one of my good friends,priyadarshan..that squint-eyed..f***)
5. rani mukherjee ( i dont know the goddam spelling of her name.. i dont care)
7. pamela anderson (oh.. the tommy lee-pam video made me her fan,thats height of pervertedness.. at times.. animal insticnts over rule the intellect)

i dont think i have conjured so much of sense in this.. but still..

a comment that turned out to be a blog itself!

2005-08-23T00:53:00.000+05:30

One of my seniors from B'lore had his trip to kullu-manali. coincidence if you can call it, i also ventured on a journey to the same place during those days. unfortunately we did not meet up. i was posting this comment on his blog.. that more or less turned out to be a blog by itself..

I experienced(www.subhashnm.blogspot.com) all the same when i was trodding the winding roads that lead to LEH, just that i had small stop over in "OLD MANALI"- the hub of all for phirangi's who end up there, and i prowled for the quintessential secret that manali is famous for and i did get my hand on it, just that it made a big hole in my pocket, as big as one that a nuke can make.but i dont mind.. manali-malana.. i have been hearin all these crap all the while.. i was ready to forego anything for that and i did.
Now that did give me a different perspective as always it does. i was climbing the winding roads in a cab with a driver who rarely uttered anything to us in the whole journey, in distance i could see some frozen water-call it ice and that was the first time im seein the natural formation! i was listening to a song-knock knockin on heavens door from a friends i-pod.did i really knock ?? i dunno.. i was muddled in the quintessential delusion that the "secret" always pushes you to!

news excerpts!!

2005-08-10T00:49:00.000+05:30

In this part of the world, news papers comes with a sunday supplement with glossy,glamorous pics of nymphets.Leave alone the sunday supplement the day to day news papers too.. people are fed with unreal,illusionary,glossy news. I have never been that dumb to devour all these. So every fortnight i stroll in the scorhing heat to get a copy of the "FRONTLINE"(its a big fight!!) and it rarley lets me down. I devour all the articles that arouse my interest.The articles written by walden bello, aijaz ahmed, dionne bunsha,vijay prashad,jhon cherian become the menu for the next 2 or 3 days.. they give me a sense. A sense of a person who delve in to the real matters, than having a periperal idea of things.I got the new frontline, i was particularly moved by a paragraph written by Dionne bunsha in the article "On the highroad to `Shanghai' " it goes like this :

AFTER six months without a home, something snapped inside Durgpati Sinha. Early one morning, Durgpati went back to the edge of the creek where her home once stood. She cried, laughed, sang hysterically in front of those squatting near the creek, shouting, "I will get my house back, I won't let the government take it." In her frenzy, she slipped and fell into the marsh. Her husband Vijay was woken up and immediately took her back to their friend's hut, calmed her down and put her to sleep. When he left, Durgpati poured a bottle of kerosene over her body and lit a match. As she burned, her six-year-old daughter Rajni looked on.

Now the new age, mesmerised, gung-ho professional rarely knows about all these..he wants mumbai to be shanghai, banglore to be london and chennai to be sydney.Its a traumatic situation where we forget about rest of the nation and destruct or demolish or crush them to build something what will be essentially unrealistic.!

The decisions to maraud the underdogs, who are often referred to as illegal(they all caste their vote!!) are taken by some bureaucrat or a minister who is always bothered to be in the so called "high society",talking about the high society i stumbled upon a piece in "TEHELKA" , why high society stinks?? by Livleen sharma(gypsy woman, thats how they have addressed her).I dont know the credibility of this piece of writing because i have seen cyrus broacha and that kind appearing in that column. Its kinda dichotomous situation where the high society people brag about,"how it stinks" that can be pretty funny, or mightily DECEIVING. Some how i liked the piece and the minister or the bureaucrat is a part of this :

Society has several types and classes who believe in, imagine, fantasise, get visions of being fashionable. They think and perceive, feel elegant, graceful, suave in their tarty drab clothes that are vulgarly expensive....

Alas, the ‘women’. Miserable! They can be put into two groups: the ones who are hunting for husbands and the ones who are hiding from them. I meet these women at parties and get-togethers which turn out to be a night-out for me. What the heck do I mean by a night-out? A night-out means a party, does it not? No, to me a night-out is like going cruising down 42nd Street to watch the streetwalkers. Seeing these supposedly lady-like, well-bred, decorous, dignified women turning into hookers with a vengeance, I wonder about this yearning within these women to turn into a demimondaine

So in the haute monde, high society of today, there is the “other” or second wife. I never found any difference. They are very popular, seen everywhere and anywhere, and well–received. No party can be called a success if you do not have half a dozen of these women.

This “woman of no importance” understood life a lot different than the “woman of importance”. She understands love as lust, hate as envy, longing as greed. Money is the essence of life. She never understood good from the bad, sin or virtue. She believes that “sanity is madness put to good use”.

The second one is not a news, but still it calls for a debate, or a rethink to ones who rush to there.

a poet n a critic!

2005-08-06T04:44:00.000+05:30

cr: "hey, last time when we met u showed a new piece written by you, right?"

po: "for heaven sake its not a piece, it is a poem"

cr: "ok.. ok... do you have it with you?"

po: "ummm.. ahem... i dont think so, i write it whenever i feel like, on small bits of paper, sometimes they remain with me, sometimes i loose them"

cr: "but that one was good, i thought i will get it published for you,you can have some coins clinking in your pocket"

po: "wait, i think i remember that poem, i can write it down for you"

cr: "try.."

po: "yeah its here.. take it. but coins should clink in my pocket"

cr: "oh.. no man.. this is not the one you showed me earlier.. this sucks!!"

po: "come on.. i remember it very well, this is the way it goes..."

cr: "no... no way, i swear.. this is not the one.."

po: "oh.. come on.. i know, this is the one.."

cr: " no chance..."

po: "then damn it!, thoughts of coins clinking in my pocket will stay as an everlasting illusion"

cr: "its nothing like that, you can always improve upon.."

po: "leave it man.."

Neither of them knew what the earlier one was, one out of sheer complacency and one out of the inborn urge to criticize, just battled it.Life moves on. Some push it, delivering incisive criticisms.Some just dont give an ear to it, be it for the good or bad. ever and ever.. life moves on!... alibiing..

ethical dilemma

2005-07-30T05:12:00.000+05:30

Thank god its friday :)-
This week(its over for me) was pretty much taxing, mentally and physically.

physically: i had a report to be submitted, it gave me physical stress coz the age old method of copying from another report still works! no mental stress at all.

mentally: watched the brutual marauding of HONDA workers in gurgaon on T.V. Read P.Sainath's article on this in THE HINDU.Thank goodness, i have a friend in Rohan, who msg's me all the way from Kerala to tell me how good the article is and it was worth reading.Its a humungous help for a person who is stuck in a land where News papers are adorned with skimply clad nymphet's pic on the very first page.
I was pushed in to an ethical dilemma after i saw those clipings on T.V and read Sainath.i know its an unwanted dilemma, but im a retrograde person, i cant change my ideas and ideologies according to time and situation.I very well know that it can be very dangerous, but i cant help it. questions like, am i born to be part of these marauding corporates who teaches us to "see the rich and forgo the poor" did create lots of confusion in me.I know very well that i will be a part of these kind of conglomerates in 2 years time, "bread" thats what prompt me to do it.ideological rhetorics do not earn you bread! it vanishes in thin air, some take it,some scorn it off.

when my professor tells "look, walmart : they are the gods of business, thats the way to do business". it flickers in the back of my mind, the article i read in MONTHLY REVIEW, that they mostly employ women in their stores and they are menially paid, yeah thats they way to do business!! when im offered a (if) job by COCO-COLA india ltd i know that i cannot forgo it, when i lucidly know that this firms suck almost all the ground water in plachimada and when agitations started against them, they scorned "its very bad that these kind of agitations are there, this will tranish the image of kerala as a new investment zone"!! this week really stressed me mentally... but the glorious thoughts of bread holds me back!!

"The streets of Gurgaon gave us a glimpse of something larger than a single protest. Bigger than a portrait of the Haryana police. Greater than Honda. Far more complex than the "image of India" as an investment destination. It presented us a microcosm of the new and old Indias. Of private cities and gated communities. Of different realities for different classes of society. Of ever-growing inequality. Of the malls of the few and the chawls of the many"- P.Sainath.

cheap n mean- mail to a friend

2005-07-20T01:11:00.000+05:30

There is nothing much happening in life, just that im in punjab doing an MBA, anyway this dont appeal me much after a week of stay in this place, coz this place is totally devoid of southies (they are not quintessential though!).. no one man.. jst have 2 friends in a manipuri (listens to rock!,gets out with 5 mugs of draught beer, two timed with his gal and badly needs to patch up with her!) and an oriya guy(ummm.. nice guy.. got a very composed outlook towards life, i presume!). rest all are punjabi munda's. flashy and sensless they are i swear! (quoting an oriya senior : they have "gussa" inside their head and "dimaag" in ass). then its fine.. going on.. as i dont stand any other chance in my life(i do, i think... not very sure too!!), i have to cope up with this and move on.. now there are lot of cheesy busty-buxom gals.. in this place.. u can see cleavages,navels and things without much fight, like what we had to, in south.. so jerk off n sleep! now that makes the end of the day tiresome,blissful n wonderful - yawn- to bed- some flicker in dreams!

panjab-delhi

2005-07-15T00:10:00.000+05:30

I landed here in punjab on 4th. sreeni through his uncle had arranged acco, so that part was clear. took hostel on 5th, bloody!! i have to share it with a guy!(gal.. he he..) i hate it! but no chance.. get along with whatever crap he does.. thats the rule of sharing! anyway he doesnt seem to be that destructive a person, he accomodates my smoking and things.. then for the last 2 days im hanging out with a manipuri chink, he listens to floyd,morrison and stuff. he reads george orwell, that pretty much impress me...

Last weekend i went to delhi, was staying along with bappa. watched "dus" from the same theatre where bomb blasted last month(jo bole so nihaal). you really need a hell lot of courage to live out there! the movie squashed my brains! i had another option: mathrubhoomi, but i was not that courageous to venture alone in delhi to a far off theatre to watch that. but had helluva fun with bappa. Had to get a certificate from Association Of Indian Universites, did that too.. stayed over there in delhi till tuesday evening.. now back in college, classes have not started in full swing. lotsa things are happening too.. some freshers party, a party by my batchmates... lots a chicks: an avid reader- an ryan fan.. not bad.. things seems to be pretty much bright!

Regards....

2005-07-01T14:03:00.000+05:30

Off to Punjab tomorrow..

Listening to thin lizzy: Thin Lizzy, a great band from Ireland, a land whos tradition is affiliated with the birth of legends. Even though, Rory Gallagher is the favorite artist for the Irish, Phil Lynnot's band was also popular and it is still twenty years after its break-up.Thin Lizzy was one of the most influential bands of all time hailed by a variety of musicians belonging to different musical styles. For example, Thin Lizzy was covered by Skyclad, Iron Maiden and Metallica, just to name a few. Their songs and albums stood the test of time leaving a valuable heritage behind them.

THEY SIMPLY ROCK!

KUDOS for all comrades who disrupted the counseling for kerala medical and engi: seats!

more than an year of suffocation is nearly choking me to death...(living in home,not that i hate being here.But due to some particular feelings that arise in my mind when im here.I feel disgusted..)

no I don't know whether I will be blogging anymore...I don't know what is it going to be like in Punjab.Only one thing "i just don't want to fuck it up"

thanks to all books that enlightened and prolonged my life...Animal farm, catcher in the rye,jail bird,the story teller, traveling with che guevera......

thanks to all cats and kittens in my home.I will miss u ppl... :(

thanks to all programs in BBC,travel&living,NDTV and at times history channel Programs like "USA was here","the big fight","globe trekker"Ian wright :)-, "we the people","history rocks"

thanks to all music that i collected from college.... uff!! songs did bring some relief at times..

thanks to the editor of "THE HINDU" :goodness grace! that u ppl had a tie up with GUARDIAN... FRIEDMAN sucks.. KRUGMAN rocks! SAINATH.. great as always.. the new make over... evrything.. i gobbled... :)- i hope i will get to read the hindu in punjab too..

thanks to "FRONTLINE" : jhon cherian rocks.. all the information that enlightened me...

thanks to "TEHELKA", economic and political weekly,montly review...

thanks to bharath and pandey who accomodated me in their rooms during my innumerable visits to college...

thanks to anand who descended to calicut after his short stint in banglore, his presence brightened up things a bit.. though u fcked it up by givin my no: to someone my folks hate... kewl...

thanks to robin who accompanied me during.....

thanks to all my friends..viv,venki,sreeni... and all organisms around who supported and cared for me..

last but not the least "THANKS TO MY FOLKS" for bearing me for all this while.. constantly correcting,scolding and helping me to get back a rythm for my life which i had lost.

ba bye kerala....

oodles of love...

2005-06-22T01:25:00.000+05:30

puritanical thats the way it always happen. he showers his oodles of love upon us....
at times it hurts, many a times it did to me... this time he just waited.... and that did hurt the feelings of so many who drooled for it, may be he was a little bit apprehensive because it has been millions of years, he has been watching the plundering of what he did masterminded for us.. the conceited effort of some to cause troubles for some by making sweet traps... the bloodshed.. the famine... but he dint deceive us... for the past 3 days... relentlessly he is showering his oodles of love in this part of the world..

ufff!!

2005-06-21T00:06:00.000+05:30

......defeat...... in every sense!!

marauding yanks!!

2005-06-09T00:58:00.000+05:30

Off late the russian premier putin told the fall of the soviet union was the biggest tragedies of 20th century.ofcourse it was... "the evil empire":USA is on a buldozing roll..IRAQ is the 54th country they are invading, alltogether they killed more than what HITLER did in his whole tenure..they butchered kids, they dropped atom bombs on japan, they carpet bombed vietnam, they sprayed agent orange in the jungles of south vietnam. still children are born without eye lids, skin diseases,without one leg, one hand and so on..they were comprehensivley defeated by the vietnamese, u can still see a B-52 in the hanoi lake :)- but the yanks still claim that they dint spray agent orange. they brought down falluja..i watched a program in BBC called "USA was here", an awesome must watch series comes at 2:00 pm on sundays..
For us Stalin is a murderer,heroic movies were made depicting the losses that USA suffered during the world war2, but we easily forget that almost every russian family lost 1 member in that war,and without no doubt it was stalin who rescued us from Hitler, that credit of that victory was plucked away by the west through its untruth spitting media,movies etc..

quest for variety :)-

2005-06-08T01:51:00.000+05:30

A plunge. a lightning streak of kaledioscopic colours: red,yellow,green and more of them which i dont know the names, i was in a incognito maze.i was running through the darkest alleys, red lights,barren concrete planks which hurt my bare foot, distant glimmer of the fading light, i was in a hurry to the reach the other end which never seemed approcahing.i was panting like a dog, i repented for all the smoke i inhaled in. my head started spinning i saw all the smoke that i inhaled in curling in and percolating in to all my grey cells destroying them and eating up my psyche.running with sweat dripping from all the pores of my body in the scorching heat that pervaded in the thick air in that night .. i was off to a journey that doesnt have a meaning and end... i saw whores bidding themselves at me, i was saw gays drooling over my sweat ridden body,i saw kids running away from me because i was the only one running in a hurry in that placid hot night.many a lights were passed by .. i ran in to further darkness nothing obstructed my way.. running in to the darkness.. i myself got lost in it.. the colours were no more.. darkness all around.

"hey stop sleeping, its time to get down". the tyres screeched, i got down rubbed my eyes.. the same old people, the same old smell,the same old place, the quest for variety was comprehensively snubbed!

Bliss of a day!! (may 25th)

2005-05-28T01:22:00.000+05:30

I have started experiencing the nuances of politics in everything that I see around,I feel, I smell, what not even in the movements of the lil kitten in my home quintessential "thing" is overruling my life. This feeling has transgressed my opinions to an extent that I believe globalization and liberalization is a "facade", though its an essential reality.For me yesterday was a bliss of day while my life is traversing in this kind of a patch, coz y'day again politics overruled my senses in 2 ways. one was a "movie", the other was the UEFA cup final.

movie:(time to get seduced!!) i had already watched this movie earlier, i was impressed and wanted to copy that to my comp but unfortunately couldn't do so. This movie deals with a "fat communist pig" and frida kahlo.yeah its FRIDA, with staggering perfomances by Salma hayek and Alfred molina this movie is one hell of an
inspirational thing potrays frida's life right from a small college going girl to an aesthetically charged artist who is the wife of the most renowned mexican artist, who himself falls for or rather seduces all female fraternity around him,and makes it so easy by tellin "it was just a f***" :)- the rollercoster ride of frida's life as a communist,a lover, a cripple,a bisexual,an artist who lives in the shadow of her hubby is excellently potrayed by salma hayek,may be IM just over rating it coz of my pertinent obsession for her! (she is the only Hollywood actress whose pics are stored in ma comp). Anyway I just loved her transformation from the usual flesh revealing bimbo to an actress with an identity of acting , not flesh! Alfred molina (Diego Rivera ) as a romantic comrade more than a successful hubby is just awesome on the screen.

film monthly says "The film evolves into a portrait of Kahlo as a bisexual and communist struggling with an abusive husband, a life of physical pain, the amputation of a leg, and, finally, the drug and alcohol abuse that killed her at age 47"
salma hayek says "she's definitely an inspiration". I add she defenitely is....

As a director Julie Taymor played a quintessential role in weaving such a good movie with a surreal touch to some scenes!. being a leftist it was hell of a movie for me, rather it made my day! nope not yet!

UEFA cup final : politics,politics,politics.... ummmm.. That's the mantra thats chanting in my head now can leave soccer from this scrupulous tangle? no I will not. When I watched the match between England and Portugal(euro 2004) I supported Portugal because Nobel laureate Jose sarong is the member of communist party of Portugal :)- Portugal was ruled by a socialist P.m for long, for me those were enough reasons for supporting the under dogs. But fortunately they did bite the "big dogs" :)- . Similarly when I settled down in front of my idiocy transmitting gadget, I had made up my mind that I will be supporting Liverpool. Technically speaking both(Italy and U.K) are unscrupulous ass lickers of America and will vouch for anything bush & co utters. But England off late in the presidential elections showed that if it goes like this it wont be easy for BLAIR, liberal democrats did win a considerable amount of seats. Now that u cant help that majority of junta around are fools!! It takes time to transform everyone! Ofcourse I was tangled in an ethical dilemma, like the one in which Iraqi people was muddled: Saddam or America?, who is the lesser evil?? U.K or Italy?? I settled for U.K. the reasons were obviously political: 10,000's marched in London in an antiwar protest (S.O.A.D VIDEO- BOOM),Liberal democrats winning seats this time, they have an awesome news paper- Guardian, writers like Harold pinter,terry eagleton (today's THE HINDU OP-ED page-MAY 26TH) and many more. Italy on the contrary is ruled by silvio berlusconi : BBC describes him as : An Italian can spend a Saturday shopping at his local supermarket, relaxing in his home, reading a paper, before flicking through a few TV channels to watch AC Milan play football, and all these services may have been provided by his prime minister.
For Mr Berlusconi is the head of a vast business empire spanning newspapers, TV and radio, film, football, advertising, insurance, food and construction.
For some Italians, Mr Berlusconi's success as a business tycoon is evidence of his capabilities - a reason why he should run the country.
But his business involvements have caused a series of legal problems which have tarnished his image.
He faces charges of bribing judges, in a trial in Milan.
This was halted in June by the introduction of controversial immunity laws, but is now expected to resume after Italy's top court annulled the law.

he is the biggest fascist around, a right wing stooge, how the hell can I support A.C.Milan??

The climax proved to be worthy,me the underdog won it over! Liverpool became uefa champions, frida still flutters in my mind!

its worth a reprint :)-

2005-05-26T06:54:00.000+05:30

suicides and a fashion week:
this is cut from an old post of mine to rekindle my senses of what i was supposed to do with my blog and what i forgot in the meanwhile..

"life is short, enjoy it" thats the punchline for the hip dudes you come across nowadays. on the other hand for some people life is not short at all. it is long and unending and there is no enjoyment too.it is full of miseries and traumas and these multiplies day by day.for a well off person who might do a professional degree and then masters, the climb is so easy from stratas to stratas, may be even up to page3:)-. for people whose life is not short, sometimes they prefer to make it short because the unending miseries and traumas make their life seem to be so long contrary to the
new age punch line. we will devour some facts n figures to understand the whole situation:

* in A.P from the regions fo telungana & rayalseema 20 lakh people migrated and hundreds ended their lives coz they felt their life was too long . this was due to drought ,debts and misery.

* the no: of reporters who stayed in these villages and repoted this unfortunate incident-6

* the very same year we had lakme indian fashion week - the no: of accredited reporters present were 412

* 4 lakh words were used by the press to cover this event.

* 1000 minutes of t.v time consumed.

* 800 hours of t.v footage produced

* 10000 film rolls were used

* 3,60000 photographs were taken

wow!! big industry fashion is i swear.. we have NDTV BUSINESS,CNBC AND lots of other blaah's to speak about this rocketing , booming industry sometimes they find it hard to conjure jargons to express, but the reality is nicely forgotten.....

why??
* in india 0.2% of the population wears any kind of designer wear
* leave alone that, only 300 customers were present for this LAKME FASHION WEEK :)-
booming or cheatin

An apology

2005-05-25T10:01:00.000+05:30

A real "sorry" for all the people who got bugged with me coz of my kinda stupidities. i realise... i realise.. it takes time to realise!

Movies :)-

2005-05-17T14:33:00.000+05:30

lost in translation : a subtle movie, with crisp editing, wonderful lighting, and of course a thumping style of direction, this movie is worth a watch, though I am not claiming, its some highly intellectually charged movie, or that kind of movie which passes on a good message, its nothing of that sort, its just the magic of the "father's daughter :Francis ford Coppola: Sofia Coppola! Good going the lineage

sideways: it won the Oscar for best screen play,I really don't believe in oscars as I do with the Nobel prize ( tom hanks didn't win for his role in cast away, Gandhi dint win for peace, this absolutely makes both of this mammoth awards phoney!), earlier there was Cannes, now aishwarya rai was on its jury , thats it!! i dont think good film fests are no more on earth , may be some small time ones,like the one that happen on the puri beach (orissa) where movie makers with a real passion, who rarely can make their ends meet, end up with their own movie and present it for a small crowd, who will sent you back with warm hearted eulogies rather than huge fortune and fame. And whole hearted criticisms than the phoney red carpet visit and goo-gaa .
back to the point: sideways, a subtle movie by Alexander Payne, with excellent acting by Paul giamtti (awesome!! u can see the pain in his eyes, the frustration, off late i have never came across such an actor!!) and Thomas Hayden church intermingled with good comedy makes it a good movie that takes you for a good ride....

2005-05-12T15:10:00.000+05:30

the age of "(t)reason" :)-

remembering zadosky...

2005-05-08T22:20:00.000+05:30

Looking down on the floor at the mirror shades shimmering in the light, the ghost from the past began to take shape..... I=zadosky was not dettered!! nothing in the past could agonize him anymore. As the roads ahead of me seem to have cruel and infintie imaginations. the road was the worst hallucination of them all, leading towards home and then away from it, without end with too many signs and no directions.

I was like a cattle on the battlefield in search of grass. "a light beer waiter, a light beer and an idea not soluble in water,an idea to which blue light gives right of way -waiter my beer!! all of us who flirt with the past and stirr up the dregs may return home over the military highway through the red sea piled up- waiter my beer!!"-to the left and right!!

he asked himself:

"tell me, what do you think of the soviet system?" :

when men have lost their natural instincts and ignore the obligations imposed on them by the system, then there is no hope that the system will correct the loss that has been caused, until recognition of lost instincts has been restored.

so what is the link between us? :

look back. what has become of us? how stoned and sceptical the cold war has left us?? my head expanded! shrewd tacticians ,able specialists who try for the possible and actually -when no unexpected obstacle arise -attain it. but nothing more...

how can i get out of this maze? :

i found myself caught in a strange immobility. the omnipotent system is like a peaceful man but the persons who spoils his peace will find that he is a lion, an elephant. His thunder will strike then and on top of that he will send his boys to beat them up. there is no escaping him.

what is it that still binds us? :

well...... what is the mystery that hides in the eyes of Sabrina- the teenage witch,for all the magic i had seen, what made harry's scar twitch? involuntary realtionship between the system and myself is not one that can be broken by my conscious self. This paradox in life keeps

irritating
rritating
ritating
itating
tating
ating
ting
ing.... absolutely mind boggling...

in the midst of dim lights and soothing sounds the cigar smoke was thick and floating,spiralling its way in to the empty darknes that held their space in the dim corners...... like me...

one gets used to things getting harder;
one ceases to be surprised that
what used to be as hard as
hard can be, grows harder yet.
Waiter!! hic!! .. one moah.. beah...!!

ticking away the moments that make up a dull day,
fritter and waste thehours in a awful way....
digging around all the pieces of ground ....
in your home town, waiting for someone or something..
to show you the way... TUCK!!

Zadosky's heart was ticking for sometime.. beer trickling down his neck. the ghosts of the past have been finally slain!! (zadosky was cold)

credits- Adolf hitler,ben okri,arundhati roy, gunter grass, j.m. coetzee, floyd, manchu,robin,pku,and the open secret that pervade all the darkest alleys on earth!!

2005-05-01T11:05:00.000+05:30

holi designer wear!!

2005-05-01T11:00:00.000+05:30

karikudi: murali's sis marriage: sandy,me,vivke,vineedh,mota

2005-05-01T10:59:00.000+05:30

chammo,zaki,sandy,vasa,me,kicha

2005-05-01T10:58:00.000+05:30

kodai... appus lodge!!

adventure!!

2005-04-28T06:34:00.000+05:30

As gabriel garcia marquez is the man of the moment with our manchu leading the way reading 2 of his classics and many more of us drooling over his works.. i thought i shud not be out of the race! there im with "living to tell a tale" the first book of his auto-biographical trilogy.
Im sure for the last 4 days anywhere in the world nobody would have spoken about books, geo-politics, music as we 4 did. thats y, i always make sure to make a comment "i just love being with our guyzzzz" . we 4 had a unanimous opinion that "frontline" is the best mag in india, "the hindu" is the best newspaper in india.. now aint that sound weird?? we talked abt evolution, 100 yrs of solitude, robert redford, tomhanks, RATM, india-china-russia tie up, ways to ambush bush, salma hayek, angelina jolie( FUNNY IT WAS.. WE WERE TALKING ABT HER TATOO OF BILLY BOB ON HER TUMMY AND BRAD PITT OR HER NEW B/F SEEIN IT WHEN HE IS MAKING LOVE TO HER!!), brad pitt, will russia turn out to be a country with putin the dictator, one of us dint want to visit egypt coz of the tyrannical rule by Hosni Mubarak.. Lighting (chunds claim that u turn out to be a heap of ash when it strikes u!!, ofcourse we raped him!!) and things.... whoaa.. i loved it...

heat blisters - may 2005...

2005-04-25T15:20:00.000+05:30

in college......

aftermath....

2005-04-20T16:24:00.000+05:30

Pachappinteyum samridhiyudeyum edayil jeevithathinarthamillennum..
Varandunagiya purampokkilekku athine valichezakkumbol mathram
Athinu thudippum unmeshavum undakumennum jnan innu manasillakkunnu..

<--------------------------->
ekaanthathayudeyum nishabdhathayudeyum kanalukalil ventheriyunna manasumaayi jeevikkunna
randaathmaakkale ennale jnan swapnam kandathu verutheyavane ennu manasil dhyanichu kondu
jnan innu trichyilekku.....
<--------------------------->

the question...

2005-04-20T03:14:00.000+05:30

For sometime, i have been thinking a way out of this maze! i wanted to get detached from the whole worldly cycle and write something special, lots of ideas sprouted in my mind, but nothing materialised. i wonder is it because the situations around me is forcing me to be worldly??
anyway i know one thing, i have prize catch in my hand, rather which i retrieved from the dusty heaps! the 31st reprint of "khasakinte ethihaasangal" !! thats a full stop in my life!
at a very crucial point in my life, im a bit too scared! im a bit too sceptical about how things will turn out.. this sultry afternoon, sweat dripping from my body.. future seems to be a mirage...

"the question of faith" : thats what i want to write about, i aint D.H.Lawrence to write Lady chatterley's lover, i aint sartre to dissect the status-quo and write a critique about faith. but.. .......

stumping someone:my way!!

2005-04-18T06:33:00.000+05:30

it will be crass stupidity and being phoney if i tell that i was captivated by ur charm on the very first meeting we had. ( i mean not the virtual one.. ) . i had my usual scepticism about life and things , that is y i never wanted to meet u coz, i knew the very first time i met u in the chat room, that i had met somebody whom i was in a search for a long long time. and somebody i wud wish to talk to forever in my life!! but u know... as life has not been pretty kind on me for the last few years and it had forced me to be sceptical about things. i never wanted to give in to anybody . i dint want my share of sorrows and questions that irritated my life to be parted with any1 else. troubles and sorrows that i go through now is a by product of th way i lived my life for the past few years!
deep inside me , there was something tht was accumulating or sprouting which made my walking slower when ever i saw a PCO and an intution that forced me to call and talk to you. this irresistable urge was going beyond my control. and i knew that i was getting captivated by a feeling that never occured in me.... i thought i wud let it free.. i thought let the feeling captivate me....it did and so badly, that i started calling u like a maniac!! here also my usual scepticism worked.... i thought how do u bear with me?? i know that im very bad at all these chirpy-chirpy talks that usually crops up when an opposite gender speaks to u... that made me ask things like.. am i killing u?? are u getting fed up???.. but u still hung on.. that really surprised me.. embarassed me... coz all my life i thought , no body can understand me ( the way im..) or bear me..., rather i never made an attempt to make anybody understand me coz i thought it is a worth less process!! ( but i never knew, things will change or turn out to be like this..) but when i met u online, and when talked for the first time.. i had a slight intution that this very person might understand me.. and now i think u r really getting to understand me....
time and things went on. in my journey i thought about u. not the whole time.. coz.. i knew.. may be things wont work out the way i want it to be.. rather if i restrain myself in making u understand me.. then things will go awry !! but lions share of the journey i was thinking about u... u were present in and around me as somethin or the other... ur eyes which i saw in the pic.. many a times i got lost in them... ur voice which i was gettin addicted to, rang in my head a trillion times.... but things had started getting brighter for me... rather to say those eyes and that voice had lightened up my life!!. but u know to be frank , i was never courageous enough to stand up and voice my feeling for u.... ( i hope.. wonder struck when u told that words.. " i dont want to loose u".. otherwise.. it wud have gone so plain.. and i wud have never got u) . because i know or i thought , lots of complexities are involved in all these...( still i think...) but intution forced me to be in banglore.... and meet u. but when i reached over there my scepticism cropped up again and i thought i will never meet u.. but the urge over came the scepticism and i just succumbed to it .( lucky im...) i just had to agree upon my slef to meet u. meeting as always was "surreal but great"
after that what all twists and turns happened in ur life.. i really dont know.... but i though abt the meeting for a long time.. i was elated.. rather i was delirious... now u come home... your array of calls to me and the air in kerala which forced u tell me those words " i dont want to loose u" made me one of the happiest persons on earth that night. beacuse of my constrictions in expressing myself i wud have stammered and blabbered incoherent things when i heard this. and that magical phrase of 3 words which i never uttered to u still haunts me... , but again on a vulnerable situation where my scepticism is over powered by the feeling from deep inside the heart , i utter : I LOVE YOU... for the first time!!
personally i think this is the best piece of prose that i have ever written and im happy... no.. im delirious... and you can always expect the best from me...
it works... or not.. i really dunno...

vivid memories and The Hindu

2005-04-17T22:22:00.000+05:30

long back when i was leafing through outlook i remember me seeing a piece of papparaazi news in the infamous penultimate page: Salman rushdie is gonna dump padmalakshmi, reason : "she is not intellectually challenging" . i was bowled over by rushdie's attitude coz for me thats a wonderful reason to dump a girl! this info just flickered in my mind y'day evening felt like jotting it down! thats all..

The hindu has revamped itself, a new design which did not impress me, may be that im a status quo-ist, u need to get used to things to like it. anyway today's hindu carries a wondeful piece from GUARDIAN in the OP-ED page, a letter from a dad to the sun! awesome piece, and more over the latest issue of frontline also needs a special mention, a good article abt O.V.Vijayan and stuff like that.....

2005-04-15T14:00:00.000+05:30

kicha.. saaala marwaadi.. rajiv(TAAQ) ,me:)- , venki

2005-04-15T13:59:00.000+05:30

essential rhino patrol... with.. TAAQ drummer rajiv....

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

2005-04-15T04:24:00.000+05:30

my comp sucks!!!!!! :(

khasak!!

2005-04-03T09:27:00.000+05:30

http://www.hackorama.com/malayalam/ovvijayan/

~ ~ ~beedi times ~ ~ ~

2005-04-01T03:13:00.000+05:30

Time passes,as leaves shed from their parent trees, souls leave earth.. so was O.V.vijayan. the story teller of malyalam who revolutionised malayalam litreature, who with his single novel kazakhinte ethihaasam created a clear demarcation in malayalam litreature "post kazakh" and "pre kazakh". a novel that was discussed and disected by the mallu intellectuals over and over again! A novel which kindled a late night discussion in the courtyards of my house and some of my fathers friends leaving the house in the wee hours of night coz of a difference of and opinion that cropped up :)- (stories, they do wonders at times!!)
Gone is gone! its pretty sad and awkward to tell that i have never read any books of O.V.Vijayan, though i knew he was a stalwart. My attepmts of reading kazakh ended up me sleeping over the book coz of the local dialect used in the book and my difficulty in deciphering malayalam.( not a sayippu though.. i was always bad at reading and writing malayalam).Anyway i got to grab that book again .. which, very soon i will be doing. oh... i forgot something.. i have read a bit of "dharmapuranam" ( the essential pages, u know!!)

back from college, vendors are on a strike(V.A.T V.A.T ) .. all kinda supplies are low.. thats y u call it beedi times! "welcome to the beedi country" :)-

inspirational music: cold play - scientist
eminem - superman ("dont touch, what u cant grab"!) :)-
Dr.dre,
snoop dog,
eminem - B*t*h pleez ("oly nigga that i trust is me") :)-

2005-03-27T15:53:00.000+05:30

best pic!!

jhatttkaaaa!!

2005-03-27T04:12:00.000+05:30

morning jolt! this word has a special place in my heart! coz life was ridden with jolts in NIT. morning,afternoon,night.. sometimes round the clock jolts.. but after leaving college, rarely did i have any morning jolts except sometimes in b'lore... but today morning i sheepishly strolled in to my toilet to fume it.. as the fumes strolled their way up and was so clear in the morning sunlight that barged in to the toilet!.. i heard some music.. what i heard still sounds like an illusion to me.. i heard duu duuu.. i was like duhh duh.. coz from my forsaken neighbourhood on a fine morning i hear duu?? nope.. no way i thought..

as i got out of the toilet i could hear the "duu" so clearly, i rushed to my compound wall.. now i cud hear the duu clearly.. it was nothing else.. "du hast"!! awe struck for 2 mins, i had bout of asphyxiation.. though many a times i had convinced myself that things do go weird that at times it can create indigestion! but not asphyxiation! anyway i myself sighed and told "what the hell am i hearing??" anyway heard is heard.. i was so happy that things are turning out to be brighter in my forsaken neighbourhood.. :)- and the irony is that the house from i heard this, i rarely hear music and all of a sudden i realised its easter tommorrow and may be a small time happiness that engrossed the family induced the 10th std kid out there to play music! but "du hast" was a bit too much.. a house from which i have heard melliflous songs of yesudas and at times some boney m!

sometimes u have to beleive whatever u hear too.. which im doing the most these days!

2005-03-26T16:39:00.000+05:30

:)- aint good at photoshop but.. but...

ummm...

2005-03-21T16:35:00.000+05:30

im through in panjab univ for ma MBA. they claim, that they are the 13th best buiness school in india, god damn!! i dont care.. things are going pretty well.. thats all.. i mean better than what i expected it to be. life moves on... i think life is pretty sensible, but i know its not.. coz thats the way everyone thinks abt one's life rather it shud be the way! :)-

down the memory lane....

2005-03-15T06:00:00.000+05:30

This morning as i had to search for some stuff, i moved on to that part of my house thats forlorn and forsaken for a long long time. its usual coz things that are almost dilapidated rarely arouse our interest! anyway i really dont know how all those things are still in my home, but as i was digging down under this dusty heaps of clothes and books, i found some articles which propelled my joy to boundless extent. i found some of my kiddie clothes, which i would have worn when i was some 1 or 2 years old, some story books that moulded my life.

i was so happy that infact i was gazing at those dresses for around 15 mins turning it around and around. infact i really did not beleive that it was mine, i went to my mother and asked her if it was mine, got a positive reply, then immediately told her that, that dusty heap is not the place it should be in and took it for a wash and now safe among my clothes. then i took those books which almost is of the soviet publications, which aroused my memories of the disintegrated soviet republic and the shattering of the biggest communist dream!(happens!!). some books had stories written tolstoy for kids ,read some of them and is safe in my cupboard. i realised that i had so many books some of them taken away by my realtives, when they had kids, i think i will set out on a journey to procure all of them and will be cursing everyone who has allowed those precious books to be eaten by moths and torn by their outrageous kids!! (i was never one!!)

These things are the only portal to my halcyon days, which make me nostalgic now a days, i have lost those empty grounds on which i studied my first lessons of football and cricket and all kind of "humanly" nuisances which moulded my life. spaces have been eaten up by mushrooming houses , people have become sophisticated, kids no more come out in the scorching sun of summer and play, they are bound to their T.V sets or computer and i too... but i still love that so called "ruffian" way of living life which i will not be able to do anymore...

This is a cry from the heart of a "mass" person who was later moulded to some kind of sophisticated human. (am i??, no.. i dont think so.. deep inside im different!!)

borrapootha!

2005-03-14T04:05:00.000+05:30

A clan of borapoothas!!

impending future.....

2005-03-11T17:16:00.000+05:30

Me in college! back to the good old days in "net lab". just that, now its with a borrowed account.anyway done with it.

Now today is kinda special. when i was in train to college, i get a call from my pop telling that a letter from hydbad univ: has arrived in home. with my usual complacency, it flickered in my mind, the news in it will be of my place in a frigging waiting list for their MBA course. ( to be true, i really dint expect a letter to come!! thats the way my thoughts go now a days..) Alas! my pop cracks the news to me that im selected there!! happy, i became for a while.. not that im not happy now.. but.. but.. anyway all together good. its just that im not ecstasic about it or something.

Got down at trichy fort, walked till "banana leaf" had a chicken biriyaani. it was just a conscious effort to kindle the good old memories of this place. it did work. put up in pandey's room, as often this dude has some kinda surpsrise awaiting for u in his comp. This time it was video of WOODSTOCK 69. it really was a different experience. when one of the organizer was asked about the financial success of the event he told : " u know, its not the money, but where else in earth can u see a peaceful crowd like this??". its a different experience, 300,000 beatniks gathered there. wow!! i have always thought y was i not born in the 70's?? now after seeing this , i really think the higher power or synonymous has done a great injustice to me!!
so in the fag end of this long day, filled with the classic erotica: Decameron by giovanni boccacio, a tehelka, a pack of ciggys, the MBA admission notice and last but not least "woodstock69" the whole "things" seems to be brightening up! will the impending future follow the same course??

ERRATA : IT SEEMS THE VIDEO IS OF WOODSTOCK 72! WHATEVER, ITS WOODSTOCK, WUDNT MAKE MUCH DIFFERENCE THOUGH...

things....

2005-03-09T22:08:00.000+05:30

Things -> sprout out from no where -> it moves good -> you enter dreams -> you live it -> it loses veracity -> it turns balck & white -> it tarnishes -> it collapses -> it crumbles -> you get over it -> you move forward, if you want to -> you enter reality!!

on the other day T met a man , a so called "mad man". he was shouting "no high hopes and no high expections" .T devoured this philosophical rhetoric,thought over it and was happy in the end.

T read a story about PEDRO SALVADORES: a man who lived in a cellar in his home to escape a army of hooligans of a dictator. a man who was confined to the cellar for 9 long years!! a man who could talk only in a very low voice after he got out of the cellar after 9 years. a man who could hear only ramblings of sounds from the ceiling above him for 9 years. a man who never spoke back to his wife, when she fed him with rumoured stories and plots coined by masses to oust the dictator. a man whose life harboured on this rumoured plots and hypothetical situations.
he lived it, he moved ahead and died coz of poverty because he was unable to anything after 9 years of confinement in the dark cellar. but he lived it because he was on earth for that.
as with so many things, the fate of salvadores strikes me as a symbol of something we are about to understand, but never quite do. (jorge luis borges!!)
things.. crop up.. die...too....

past is always coloful... so these are the links to my best posts:
http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=9917907&postID=110492176628809799
http://www.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=9917907&postID=110543676638058171

A short hiatus follows...

2005-03-07T23:39:00.000+05:30

my fuming toilet is causing problems!!
talking : nonsense,rubbish
walking : with head down
eating : god knows.
reading : jorge luis borges, alfred kubin (parallel processing)
wording : "the end" end is such a beautiful word, i swear!!
"dead are those who never come back" - track no:11 in a GIR compilation, buddha blown.. from chennai.. best indian rock song,i have ever heard.. apart from the electronica attack by pentagram.
"dead are those who never come back" !!

what the hell???

2005-03-06T05:04:00.000+05:30

Funny!! i felt this way.. this morning somehow a malayala manorama was borrowed for reading from my neighbour.. rarely does that happen.. coz myself i "detest" that news paper for reasons that i dont want to specify. anyway i asked what the hell, when i was leafing through the pages of MM. they did not have a news on the visit of the most outspoken presidents of our time HUGO CHAVEZ, who is visiting india... indian express carried 2 pics of him, the hindu, mathrubhumi, and almost all mallu news papers... now as malayala manaorama doesnt have a news on him. i without any suspicion coined an opinion that MM is a stool pigeon that voice out the AMERICAN hypocrisy in kerala... thats it. "VIVA CHAVISTA" !!

Me sad abt missing Mark knopfler show, its not that i have been to so many other concerts, but still mark knopfler is gonna be a big miss!:( . now to get over this frustration, i needed something. out of the blue i found out that a calicut based organization called "secular collective"( essentially not an organization, just a collective effort by my pop and his friends.. :)- ) is organizing a program in which Alexander cockburn who is the co-editor of america's best political weekly will be giving a speech and the conscience keeper of indian journalism p.sainath also will be participating. now, i have made a personal request to add on a question answer session to this.so i can ask or rather grill ( bein phoney??) an american abt his country and its policies... and abt our hero moore, mumia abu jamal and RATM....., this is gonna be pretty interesting.. so lemme now forget abt mark knopfler.. :(
visit www.counterpunch.org

nonchalant :)-

2005-03-03T15:19:00.000+05:30

Another sultry afternoon: with my eyes drooping and with usual complacency, for which im often criticised, im sitting in front of my computer. For the past 2 days the "atmosphere" in home is not warm enough coz a kitten which is being grown in my home is not well. i like them, i pity those creatures which cannot communicate like us.. so its basically a big struggle for them, moaning and groaning and we understand something out off all these.. rather we dont at all....

An escapade was planned .. so i resorted to ALFRED KUBIN'S " the otherside" . page by page i was being sucked in to a cauldron of weird imagination... that at times offered a light and pleasing situation and at times carrying you in to grotesque and crass situations.... the novel was written in 1940's, its about a dream kingdom made some where in asia by a german and people from all over being invited to live over there, they have a barber who is a philosopher too , he has a monkey who in the end takes over the barber's work coz the barber was not getting enough time to propogate his philosophy and many more characters and instances of immense imagination.... and in the end a "rich american" descends in the dream kingdom. thats it.. the dream kingdom which was flourishing, degrades... it gets destroyed in the worst manner!! "the american effect" ... boundless imagination thats what u can term all these..... i have not finished it yet.. i dont know.. how im gonna devour the whole thing... the illustrations by the author itself, partly pushes your limits to kind of insanity.

listening to rabbi.. this sardar rocks!! really really!! i think im not philiosophically charged up.. next book, im planning to keep my hand on.. is "the age of reason" by sartre or "enjoy your symptom" by slavoj zizek.. lemme try out.. can philosophy be my cuppa coffee.. nonchalant:- the life goes on...

exclusive for mallus

2005-03-03T03:31:00.000+05:30

For the last 8 months i have been reading almost everything that came across me. mathrubhumi weekly, monthly review, economic and political weekly , frontline, the hindu and top of these some books.. not that i was devouring all these.. but to coin some sense in my life.. i picked out things from these and read...
now.. in malayalam, the only thing i read is mathrubhumi weekly. i generally dont read poems coz its not easy for me to understand them or basically its a struggle to read the intertwined mallu words (kooti vayikkuka). out of the blue one day i happened to read a poem in mathrubhumi.. i liked it a lot... its name is autograph.. written by veerankutty...
it goes like this...

rahasyam:

mazhayaal parayanaavathathanu
minnal kondu ezhuthiyathu
edi ethra arasikan kootukaran
uchathil athokkeyum velippeduthi...

sticker:

randu pranan thammil
ottunathinte aakasmikathayundu
ethu pranayathilum
keerikondallathe verpeduthan
pattathathinte nissahayathayundu
athinte piriyalil.

sookshmatha:

ere kaalam kedu koodathe
erikkumennu thonnunu
nammude pranayam
kanneerinal neeyathine
eppozhe laminate cheykayaal

sandarsanam:

veyil vellathilennapole
nee ennil praveshichu
manju (dew)
elayilninnenna pole
thrichu povukayum cheythu
enkilum
nandi undu ninnodu
ee kettikidappine
kuranje nerathekku
nee
sphadikamanennu
thonichu..

now im very bad at this eng mallu thing...this is my humble effort to scribble down a poem that touched my so called heart in december 2004. (month& year v.v important)sorry to my non mallu friends... amd mallus who doesnt understand malayalam!!

travails of "T"

2005-03-01T17:58:00.000+05:30

"shame is a revolutionary feeling" thats what karl marx told. T got up hearing this. T has always wondered why he was conferred on this name. he had started to abhor his name, because during the usual introspection in to his life he understood that T is one horrible letter. he sighed. he was happy that, he was not conferred names like treachery, torment, tumult,travail, tableau, taboo, taciturn and taint. he thought that the letter T itself is being abhored, now if it was something that starts with T or end with T , it would have been tumultous.

T, through his constant introspections had became taciturn. he did not want to open up himself . the places he went were dead or appeared to be dead for him. he flet as if there is no activity going on around.he often rewound his thoughts, he felt his vision has turned out to be black n white of late. past seems to be more colourful, he thought. T was optimistic though, he saw a faint light at the end of the tunnel. he wanted to cover the the whole distance in a split second. so he ran, but at times he felt so dejected and disgusted, he sat down not for minutes but for hours and sometimes for days . he got engrossed by a sense of futility.

engrossedd in nothingness, puzzled all the way T was getting suffocated. he wanted to break the shackles, he wanted to be free, free for ever but commitments forbid him from doing so. an ethical dilema ate up his brains. no brains, just nothingness!! to coin a sense he resorted to books. he started reading, but the books he read disturbed him more. his choice of books were not correct, ofcourse when all other choices he made went wrong , how can the choice of books be correct?? he sighed. he threw away the book . he was in search of somehting that is inspiring. he did find something, not a book , but unfortunately T's nothingness, sorrows and questions started to have an epidemic effect. now thats the last thing he wanted. people and things sharing the sombre atmospehere in which T was dwelling.he was sad because it might make those things or people feel stupid. he sighed. he thought.. why??? unintentional though...

At times sombre atmospehere lightens up! there is a rush of blood to ur brain , your pupils dialate. you think, you have the strength to over power the biggest behemoth on earth.T experienced this by reading some words .After a long hunt through so many pages of of so many books he got a piece that gave an adrenalin rush. he infact scribbled it on a piece of paper with his worst hand writing to make it feel original and posted it on the wall in front of him. ( in a day T is in front of this wall for a pretty long time.. ). the wall which is painted white, which has been the only brightest thing in front of him. the words go like this : I REMAINED THERE LOOKING AT THE WIDE SKY , THE RIVER FLOWING ON BLINDLY, A HORSE HALF ASLEEP, THE DIRT ROADS,AND THE KILNS- AND I BEGAN TO REALISE THAT , IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RAGWEED AND DUMP HEAPS AND THAT WHOLE FORSAKEN NEIGHBOURHOOD, I HAD SPROUTED UP NO MORE THAN A WEED MYSELF. WITH OUR BIG MOUTHS AND NO GUTS, WHAT ELSE WOULD GROW THERE BUT TRASH LIKE US?? THEN I THOUGHT NO, THAT THE WORSE PLACE THE TOUGHER IT HAD TO BE.

These words became a quintessential part of him. he rephrased and adapted him to the situation and reloaded himself , so that he had a rush of blood to his brains and his pupils dialated. He infact understood that shame is a revolutionary feeling. :)-

utterly butterly fiction! words flicked from streetcorner man : jorge luis borges!

momentary lapse of reason!

2005-03-01T06:46:00.000+05:30

Feb 26th night.. the air in kerala created a momentary lapse of reason in me....so was it happening for someone else too.. now thats pretty difficult a situation!! there is no reason! now.. when "2 situtaions devoid of reason" clashed a reason sprouted out of it! (did it?? umm.. i cant beleieve my eyes!!) absolutely devoid of reason a postive result cropped up.... im delirious about it... im crooning over it.... :)- decisons which are mortal are to be made yet... things go weird at times.. sometimes it goes so weird that it can create an indigestion! heaven's sake.. i had taken some medicine for stomach upset last week! it helped!

calicut....

2005-02-27T02:58:00.000+05:30

This place pretty much is getting on to my nerve! i really dont know... the lions share of my life i had spent here, i enjoyed being here, i was proud of being born and brought up in calicut , but not any more.. i really dont know, what makes this disgusting feeling in me.. but i cant help it!!
y'day i had a meeting with one of my friend, not a great friend of mine... but i was introduced to this dude by another of my good friend. the guy i met y'day is a drummer. he had earlier told me that he has not studied drums! he doesnt have a personal drum set, all he do is when ever some one of his acquaintance calls him for a perfomance, rents a drum set and thrash it out! :)-( he performed for opening of a hall in NITC, i heard some of the students even ran away coz of fear...i really dont know.. he showed me some of fingers.. they dint have nails.. he told me.. he lost it during some perfomances!! )
y'day we had a pretty long talk. i have been seeing this fella for a long time. long hair.. a pretty weird beard and oddly dressed. he some times look like nelson mandela with long hair, mostly coz of the clothes he wear. one day i got introduced to this fella. now y'day he told me that he was a part of a band earlier and they were 5 of them. now only 2 are left over. unfortunately it seems rest 3 of the band members committed suicide! and he was proudly speaking that his kind of music is the one which creates fear psychosis! his inspirations are nirvana.. sepultura and things like that. :)- and more over he told me that , i play drums.. i understand music of all kinds , but i really really dont know , how to talk english!! ofcourse he is a drop out from the school. :)-

then he told me.. that one of the first rock bands in kerala originated in calicut , by an anglo indian called HUTTON, it was called "dread locks" it went on for a while.. then hutton was missing for the good.. the drummer on a fine evening was strolling on a railway line... there was train coming in his way.. he thought it was goin to the oppsosite side.. and he was taken for the good from this land!!( digging down under to understand why did he think the train was moving in the opposite direction is ridiculous! its so obvious!!) there are still some traces of these people in calicut.. this particular dude im talking to , benny a guitar teacher.. who belongs to lineage of hutton... like that...
A painter who dint have enough cash to buy paper for his sketches , but who had some money to spare for ciggy's and who used to make sketches on these covers .. hundreds of them. one fine morning a french belle ends up in calicut for studying the folklores of north kerala ( we forget things like these..(folklores) and later westerners discover it for us!!) she meets this very painter, gets fascinated by his works and take him to paris! they marry over there.. and he is well settled there , coz out there they get grants for artists.. ( movie story??? ..nope its not...)
thats not the end. a self proclaimed dope head from calicut, who is also a tabla player, who is a friend of this painter fly off to paris on this painters expense, plays there for fashion shows.. and now he makes a living out there.... ah!! things go weird at times! but.. at times.. it goes so weird that it can create an indigestion!!
but these are not the reasons to be disgusted abt this place.. but some how... i really dont know.. i kinda starting to hate this place!

bits of my scribbles -2

2005-02-26T05:07:00.000+05:30

15/020/05 - Delhi
in Vishwa yuvak kendra dorm. delhi has been altogether fine .y'day evening by 4.45 i got down at delhi.i had got psychin reviews about the new delhi railway station,but nothin atrocious happened. somehow managed to get a pre-paid and went all the way to Teen murti bhavan. on the way i did see red fort :)- .met prashant raghuvamsam in asianet, media people are always cordial.( is it??)
saw some voice overs they give for the 7'o clock news. Back home we just hear dilliyil ninnum prashanth raghuvamsam. now had a first hand experince with all these.. nice!
got my dorm, took bath,had food, called up people and told that im fine. more over someone tells me that this is the first time that person is listening to english music and know what??? pinkfloyd!! ha ha.. ( i need to take this?? im so sceptical as always), anyway prescribed that wish u were here is gonna be on the menu for that person that night. :)- got back to dorm , wanted to read the "other side" by kubin , but was havin slight headache so had some medicines and off to bed. nice sound sleep!. got up by 7.30 in the morning, now these dorm people are telling that there is a group waiting down so i need to check out. thats not fair! anyway i dint pick a fight with him.. i asked him for some more time.. and that was a long time.. nobody knocked at my door.. i locked the door and went for my breakfast came back.. watched t.v.. then tought of writing this down...

now there is no use in me getting out of this place now coz as asianet doesnt open, i cant get to anywhere... but frankly speaking, if i get out of here by now itself, its not a probelm. coz im staying here for 100 f**king bucks. in delhi for 100 fucking bucks- good bathroom- good bed- good cot-good quilt?? and more over loads of chicks in the next dorm!! all in 100 fucking bucks?? no, not possible at all... have to get to chanigarh soon.. delhi is fine.. but it gets on to ur nerve very fast.. it can be a stop over,thats all....

delirious night-soccer matches-medha patkar-cold play

2005-02-24T23:41:00.000+05:30

back home! sweet home.. now gonna eat puttu and kadala!! wow... i just love it... the journey back was pretty boring.. coz i dint get sleep.. its like that at times for me.. anyway it was not one of the worst nights.. and there was hardly 10 ppl in kallada.. nice things happen too.. as the bus was heading to tirur , i could get down in front of ma home!!

y'day and day before y'day , i saw 2 soccer matches barc Vs chelsea and PSV Vs monaco. loved those 2 games.. barc!! what a show.. they really deserve mention.. they just mauled chelsea!! now.. ofcourse my political visions eclipse my support to particular teams... so its natural that i dont like any british teams.. except arsenal coz they stand against RACISM!! now.. the games were good.. eto, ronaldinho, marquez and people like that was good in the game... latin america rocks!!

i was flipping over the pages of an outlook, i saw in vivek's home... and was pretty surprised to see that MEDHA PATKAR was voted as the most inspring woman of india. thats pretty big a surprise.. a person who supposedly holds so called retrograde views on development and things like that being voted as the most "inspring woman" . but i still remember that wonderful moment i got an autograph from her .. when she came in calicut.. and the words were the best "towards justice" -medha!! wow.. what a conviction , i thought that moment.. 20 yrs of struggle.. its not phoney....

when i put on my comp to day morning the song that came to my mind was cold play -scientist..(courtesy -robin) wonderful video!! and some LED ZEPP!! they are back in the grammys!! "whole lotta love"!! .Reading again and again.. a story by jorge louis borges- the street corner man. And one important thing : SREENI, "DO TAKE CARE" :)- ( I dunno whether he reads this.. but.. even then... )

"GREAT" grand finale...

2005-02-24T13:31:00.000+05:30

i strated off on 12th from ma.. home..delhi.. chandigarh..delhi..hyderabad.. banglore... this has been altogether a wonderful "trip" now.. it was slow and kinda awkward.. when it started..(has to be!!) but just as its said "groovy as it gets", it
did.
still being in banglore and experincing it to the fullest, before..... i get back home tonite... "it was surreal but great" courtesy : notting hill... thats all... hmpf! :)- ( robin needs a special mention!!) coconut.. dhyanam too... :)- he he... blaaahh.. blaaah...i really dunno!!
" oops forgot...DON'T U DARE STEPPING OUT OF KARNATAKA BORDER WITHOUT MEETING ME!!!" : i dint!! :)-

bits of my scribbles!!

2005-02-22T12:02:00.000+05:30

As i really did not have any sensible thing to do in my journey other than reading, i was some times indulged in writing somethings down. now this is a small piece from that....
14/02/05 -11.22 am
Valentine's day . now this is same as any other day in my life. it is not just that im travelling in train and i have nothin to do. all along my life it has been like that. not valentines day, any so called auspicious day. even my birthday of late has been turing out to be a less auspicious day for me. now it is horrendous if i tell that i dont know my pop's b'day and even my momma's b'day.. i dont know their wedding anniversary. ( i have seen some of my freinds wishing their folks on their wedding anniversary) . all these may be because my parents do not beleive in all these or something that i really dont understand. may be my father beleives that for some people in the world its a big fight to survive, for some food, for a shelter, for a decent life. many of them burn out before they experince or acheive all the good things in their life. so as a privileged person , my father might be thinking that he should purposefuly abstain from celebrating these so called auspicious days. now this is the way his thoughts go as far as i understand him. i rarely do wish anyone on valentines day neither do i get wishes back. back in college for the heck of it , i would have done. my friends are not bothered. im happy about it.

train stopped in gwalior , some people got in . now there is a chubby girl sittin in front of me. she is a readin a magazine , of course life style was the first page she scanned. umm.. she has got pretty long polished nails!! :)- every time vada or cutlet is taken by a vendor , her face disfigures as if she is born to eat only burgers and sandwiches!! phew!!
weird things too happen in train. there was a gal who got in from palakkad. she was reading frontline ..... and that coup by the monarch in nepal. .. mallu girl... frontline.. coup in nepal.. i just cant digest that. she cant be mallu rite?? (im forced to add.. exceptions are always there!!)

sayantan dey-king of bollywood-venki-hydbad

2005-02-22T11:26:00.000+05:30

For the past 2 days i have been in hyderbad. staying with venki. i had an interview out here, gave it.. it went good. so far so good, except that my stomach went berserk out here. happens!! i directly came down here from delhi, venki and dey was there in the railway station to pick me up. directly went to "easy rider" met ashwin too, had our share of fun got back home.. now venki is stayin alone in a apartment in jubilee hills , awesome place!! so the very day i landed over here.. i literally went mad.
next day we went for some shopping , i got some music and a t-shirt, now in between this i had noticed a book in venki's home. life history of FIDEL CASTRO, with a preface by GABRIEL GARCIA MARQUEZ!! i really thought venki lost the marbles in his head. now i came to know that its not his book, but he took it from someone else to read it. and this someone is dey. whoa.. im impressed.( i lean a bit left!!) and when i turned the pages i was really wonderstruck, things were underlined and studied ratherthan reading it. now that is kindaaa devotion towards it. anyway i couldnt read the whole things. but i dint miss one thing, the preface by marquez. he is a person who does jugglery with language. it is one of the best prefaces i have ever read in my life.

we took 2 cd's to watch , million dollar baby and king of bollywood. as i was in a light mood after my interview , i watched king of bollywood. not bad!! not bad at all.. piyush jha.. he is the director. who's that?? i really dont know. but direction is good. "sophie dahl" is there.. thats another reason to cry whoa abt the movie!! om puri as always is class!!

i got the ost of black friday. now i rate it too good. some are typical indian ocean kind of songs. they have been there in the limelight for around 14 years, subtle and calm doing their work and performing across 4 continents. now this can be one of the biggest break or reward they can ever get for their work. its good. i coined this review of mine in a completely different mindset. venki's home.. alone.. and.... .. its nice to be alone.. and plunge in to music.. it grips.. u.. then i got a u.k punjabi = Dr.zeus. good.. not bad...

take me out please

2005-02-21T03:09:00.000+05:30

hi...
can you remove me from the contributor's list for this blog?
thank you...
I tried sending an email already
but that didn't work.

me in sardar land...

2005-02-16T12:18:00.001+05:30

Now, for the first time im in the north of india. train journey as usual was boring. now in chandigarh. wonderful city, wonderful chicks... staying in sreeni's place. nice place he has got. dinesh and another dude from our college is staying along with him. umm.. we had our share of some fun y'day nite.. went to his office after this fun, sreeni as always was in high spirits. almost rammed to a round abt in his bike. he he.. now.. they have gone to office.. so i thought of finding a net cafe for some mail checking and this blog thingyyy , i lost my way , but was determined to get here... so got here.. tommorrow i have interview in UBS. hope that it will go well and for 2 more yrs i will be here in this. to be frank i have fallen in love with this place. i think after kerala, the place thats so green is punjab. nice people.. i mean people... nothing else... gals are good but they look gaudy with their dark lipsticks on!!

another good reason to be here is that , shimla is 3 hrs drive from here. kulu- manali is 5 hrs drive from here... thats pretty tempting rite? and more over, sreeni showed some pics of he going to shimla. snow.. winding roads.. umm.. kulu has always been dream for me :)- and abt the college..its pretty famous out here. for the last 2 days euphoria and 2 delhi bands, them clones and nakshatra played there. hooo ho.. thats.. kinda rocking rite????
ho.. no.. in this i-way they have started playing britney... phew!! i think i will better get out.. will be hitting boards with a kind of travelogue , i have been writing :)-

reading alfred kubin's the other side and listening to loads n loads of punjabi songs!! balle balle!! ( this is ringing in my ears!!) and now.. britney.. oh.. no.. im running away.....